There’s a little voice, very quiet and way in the back of my head, that’s telling me I’m not as good as other moms with two children because I’m not doing it on my own.

My husband is a stay-at-home dad and, for a whole variety of reasons, he’s going to continue to be at home while I’m on maternity leave with this new baby for the next year. I know, I’m lucky. Not only will I have help, but we’ll be able to spend time together as a family and I wouldn’t trade that for all the income in the world. (Though I may change my tune if we end up broke.)

dad and son with newborn

My three boys

One of the big reasons he’s staying at home is that, given my struggle with postpartum depression after our last child, it seems like a better idea to have two of us on deck. Which is another way of saying I’m not sure I can do it on my own.

I mean, I probably can. It’s just probably easier (better? safer?) if I don’t. But I could. Or could I?

I may not ever find out. At is stands my husband will be here so we can tag-team parenting responsibilities for a four-year-old and a newborn, and I won’t have to take that huge leap to mom-of-two on my own for eight hours a day.

Which is not to say that we won’t have challenges. It will be a transition all the same, and I’m sure there are times we’ll both be glad the other person is around. And I’m certainly not asking for more hard stuff, because I had quite enough of that the last time, thank you very much.

If this is a blissful or fulfilling or, heck, even just an easier experience, I will relish it and be grateful for it, and try very hard not to wonder if I’m somehow less of a mom than those who don’t have a partner at home full time.

Do you ever feel less-than because of your family dynamic?




About Robin

Robin Farr is a mom, a writer, a speaker, and a runner. She's also a postpartum depression survivor who knows what it's like to overcome something hard and find more meaning in life as a result. In addition to momming, blogging, and doing freelance work, Robin works in communications for one of Canada's most-admired companies. Her blog is Farewell Stranger and you can follow her on Twitter at @FarewellStrangr. Her three words for 2013 are Stretch, Balance, Presence.

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