When I was pregnant with my son (my second child) fellow moms of more than one child assured me that I would love both of my children. Though I couldn’t believe I’d ever love any little human as much as I loved my daughter, they promised me my heart would grow.
And, of course, they were right. I love both my children to the moon and back. My heart expands to bursting daily.
Oh yes. There is a “but…” coming.
But… this isn’t exactly what I had expected.
I had expected that my son would have an uphill climb into my heart. I knew I would love him. But I loved my girl with every inch of my being. I was sure it would take time to bond with him. To love him like I loved her.
It didn’t. I fell head over heels for his big baby eyes and sweet cherub face immediately. I savored every moment with him – even the way-late-at-night or way-early-in-the-morning ones. I appreciated every baby bit.
And, while there was more than enough room in my heart, there were not more than enough hours in each day. Consumed with baby love, I found that I stopped appreciating my girl and the special three-ness with which she can’t help but sparkle (and sometimes spark). I began to see three as a troublesome age. Well beyond anything I experienced with the so-called “terrible twos.” The tantrums, the whining, the list goes on and on. That her behavior likely resulted more from the shock of her world turned upside down than her age alone was a concept I grasped but seemed incapable of holding onto.
She is nearly halfway through being three and I’ve appreciated nary a day of this phase.
It’s not fair. To her. To me.
A few weeks ago, I took her to the grocery store. Just the two of us. It was a busy Sunday afternoon. The store was full of people doing their weekly grocery shopping, buying the fixings for Sunday might dinner. I lifted her into the seat of the shopping cart, and she sat down willingly. I handed her a tablet of paper and a pen, pulled out my list, and off we went. We chatted. We reviewed our lists and checked things off as we rolled. She kept track of the things we bought. We sang along with the cheesy grocery store music. We sang songs of our own.
It was delightful. It was fun. It was something I could not have done with the baby. Won’t be able to do with him for quite some time.
It was a uniquely “three” moment. A year ago, she’d have been too small. Too young to engage in the banter and the singing. A year from now…well, I’m willing to bet she won’t be willing to sit in that shopping cart seat.
It helped me to remember that three is fun. Three is special.
Way back when my girl was an infant, a fellow new-mom imparted wise words that I’ve never forgotten. “The best baby phase is the one you’re in,” she told me. There is much to love about each phase of our children’s lives. Looking ahead to when they can do so much more or back to when they were all smiles and coos is fun, but should not be done to the point of distraction.
Since that day at the grocery store, I’ve been appreciating three. And so far, three seems to be appreciating me too.
xo
Tricia









I remember a lot of magical moments when my daughter was three. It is a great age.
The advice you received is so very true – the best phase is the one you are in. My daughter is far past the baby years at almost ten. But this made me think about how she loves to write up the grocery list, and add up the prices while we shop, trying to hit on exactly what the final total will be.
Tracie recently posted..Anne of Blonde Gables
It is a truly magical age. But they all are, aren’t they?
Tricia recently posted..Be kind in the morning
I love three. And two. And four. And all of them, I think
I have a hard time sometimes remembering to be fair to my daughter; she is so verbal and “old” for her age that my expectations are so high, and I need to remember that she’s still so little and fun

angela recently posted..Our New Now
I have the same exact problem! My daughter is mature and well-spoken for her age. I find myself treating her like an adult! And that’s when I really miss the magic of her littleness. Glad to hear I’m not the only one!
Tricia recently posted..Be kind in the morning
I know just what you mean, except mine’s 4. And I have a really hard time appreciating his energy sometimes. Okay, a lot of the time. I’m eating up my baby, but I do need to stop and acknowledge how great age 4 is too.
Robin recently posted..Newborn Know-It-Alls
It’s so hard. The baby is in my comfort zone. My girl – well like you say, her energy is hard to appreciate now. We’ll get there, though. It will all even out. Or, eventually, they’ll both be bigger and full of energy!
Tricia recently posted..Be kind in the morning
It can be hard to divide your attention when kids are that close in age. But as I watch my 4 and 6 year old really play together, it is amazing.
Corey Feldman recently posted..The Sexton and the Reaper – Available at Amazon
I cannot wait to watch them play together!
Tricia recently posted..Be kind in the morning
So sweet. I had a similar experience with my almost 2 year old last week. That boy makes me crazy. But that day, also in a store, we just had fun, just the two of us. I love those moments!
They really are the best! They are the ones I try to look back on when the going gets tough.
Tricia recently posted..Be kind in the morning
After my divorce, I took each of my boys out for just a short special one on one time with me each week. They were older than the phases yours are in…but there was something wonderful about that time — even at age 4 and age 7.
This year for the holidays, we went out mom + son to buy a gift for the other son. We included dinner and conversation just the two of us. Those were my two favorite moments of the season.
Kimberly Rues recently posted..Memories Captured: Second Chances
Now, with two, I understand the necessity and the magic of one-on-one time. I’ve made sure to schedule more of it with my girl and it is making a huge difference. Love that holiday memory – sounds like a lovely tradition!
Tricia recently posted..Be kind in the morning
My older boys require so much of my attention that I do my best to have one on one with the youngest. He is such a sweet little boy, and I’m trying my hardest to love the age, even when the 5 year old stubborn, independent streak has me wanting to pull my hairs out. Sometimes I have to remember to just let him be. He’ll figure it out.
SAM recently posted..The Elven Games 10
The challenging phases can be so tough to appreciate. But you’re right, he will figure it out!
Tricia recently posted..Be kind in the morning