A new week is upon us…and we are very excited to share a few exciting updates for Be Enough Me. First of all, I want to thank EVERYONE who has shared a Be Enough Me story so far. The emotions, the honesty, the insight, and the inspiration have been tremendous.
Which brings me to our first update. Starting NEXT weekend, we will be featuring TWO Be Enough ME posts on our Facebook page. The team of Just.Be.Enough. writers will – after having read all the linked posts – decide on two that highlighted a story, a moment, a something that made our JBE hearts go pitter patter. We wish we could feature everyone, but for now, we hope that you will try to at least visit a few other linked-up posts during the week and we intend, as our community grows, to feature more and more stories.
The second big update is that from now on, we are going to offer the choice of a prompt for Be Enough Me. As a teacher, part of me likes leaving things open ended, but not everyone is the same. So from now on you can choose to be inspired by a prompt OR a more-open ended Be Enough Me feeling. Which means, of course, that you need to know the prompt for next week….(drumroll please): The very first prompt for your Be Enough Me pleasure is: The top area of your life where you would like to apply the Just.Be.Enough. mission of standing taller.
For this week, I have a story that started with surprise.
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In the last two weeks I have learned something very important. Something that, I have to admit, left me a little speechless and feeling extremely awkward.
It happened when a colleague told me she enjoyed reading my posts but was truly surprised to learn of my continuing battles with the demons of insecurity and low self-esteem. And that finding this out made her feel a little better about herself.
The first thought to go through my brain was, “Um…thank you, I think.” My second thought was, “Well wow. I guess I have done a pretty good job fooling people.”
But as I walked away, I was left with a sinking feeling.
I started to feel as if maybe I had been leading a life that was not authentic, that the real me was hiding behind a suit of armor. That I had done such a good job creating this image of myself, at least in my professional life, that people actually believed I was put together and confident.
Little do they know that my closet is like a battle zone every morning as I try to put together a look that will hide, diminish, or creatively distract from my trouble spots. Little do they know that I drive to school with a stomach ache wondering how to help my daughter channel her intense energy into appropriate behaviors. Little do they know that I over analyze the professional conversations I need to have to make sure I am not stepping on any toes. Little do they know…
Just then something happened. Like the light bulb that goes off for children when they suddenly start to be able to read the words on the pages in a book, it all clicked. I realized the “little did they know” part of me was NOT the important piece of this puzzle.
The important piece was that she felt better about herself knowing that I too had my own inner demons.
That is what THIS is about.
Opening yourself up and being authentic is not a sign of failure. It is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of you. It is evidence that you have lived life. It is a sign that you have experienced good and bad days. It is a sign that you are human. And sometimes, when you name things, when you identify, when you accept these things, you realize you are not alone. That other people feel the same way. That other people have been in your shoes.
Which of course is what makes blogging so very amazing. Because as we grow our community, we grow the number of people who help you realize you are not alone. And whether you wore an outfit that did not hide your love handles, or whether your daughter follows your directions the first time, or whether you stepped on someone’s toes at work…there is always someone who understands.
If, and only if, you are really ready to fully retire that suit of armor. Are you ready?
xo
Elena
Every MONDAY join us…
Write, post, link-up, share your story and your voice.
Be part of carrying the weight of confidence, empowerment and share our mission
to empower, inspire, and remind women, parents and children
that the time has come to celebrate ourselves!
Next week’s prompt: The top area of your life where you would like to apply the Just.Be.Enough.
mission of standing taller. (Remember you can also write on a topic of your choice.)
About Elena
I know this suit of armor you speak of. I used to ‘wear’ one all the time. Mine applied to when I did things alone – eating a meal, having a coffee, watching a movie. I used to feel the need to have my ‘armor’ – a book, or my laptop when I was in a restaurant or cafe on my own. I felt like people maybe felt sorry for me, and wondered why I was alone. Then I realized it was just silly. So now, I don’t need the armor – I have enough confidence to know that no one is judging me.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..I Just Want A Coffee
That is so important! I am so very ready to retire the armor, regardless of what is underneath.
My closet looks like a tornado hit it every morning–evidence of the desperate search for an outfit I like. Or at least it used to. I don’t have enough maternity clothes to have that luxury. Hopefully, my time won’t come again. Or at least it won’t come as often.
Natalie @ Mama Track recently posted..Next Time
The best part is when I say I have nothing to wear and Rocket comes into my closet and stares at the plentiful assortment of clothes—very few of which are in my size. Because then I strongly dislike shopping for new clothes when I know I have to buy a bigger size. Silly, I know.
I think you can take your colleague’s surprise as a compliment. The way I see it, she was surprised that someone as professional and put-together as you even HAD anything to be insecure about. At least, that’s what I think when someone that I know and and admire admits to having those inner demons. I guess the truth is, we all have them, and it’s a relief to know that even the most put-together people have their share of insecurity.
Amanda recently posted..On Being an Adult
Absolutely, it was just so surprising.
I think we all have that body armor whether we admitted it or not. I do that when I’m at work. I try so hard to separate my personal life and my professional one. Opening up is easier on the blog than in real life I still have to master that art. Thank you for reminding me that it’s ok to retire these armor.
Tatter Scoops recently posted..We Are Enough
Absolutely. I tend to think I have mine less at work, but I think it is just different. I carry my non work armor with me at all times–or did. We should throw a multinational armor retirement party!
Suit of armor is the key phrase for me. Armor. That’s is a very strong material to be wearing everyday. Not only do we carry books, laptops, wear certain clothes to remain protected, we are wearing our suit of armor. My suit of armor is very heavy and hard to walk around in all day, yet I can’t seem to leave my house without it, not even one day. I try to be confident and mindful that I am good enough being just me. I put on an act that I am super confident, but inside I’m scared and I can’t seem to take off my armor. I have hope that one day, my armor will just get too rusty and the real me will never need it again.
What a great thought—I love the idea of the armor getting rusty and not needing it.
I was going out to an event on saturday that was just friends and shouldn’t have cared so much, but I so hated all of my clothes and felt as though I didn’t measure up. I know it’s stupid to care because they weren’t going to judge me, but I sure did.
I remember people talking about this before some of the blogging conferences. The fact that we are the only ones paying attention to what we are wearing, our weight, our shoes…..all of those things. It is the inside of us that matters.
It’s hard to tear away from this, isn’t it??
I am excited about the prompts idea..I really am.
Alexandra recently posted..Blues Before Sunrise
My blog is where I take off my suit of armor and let all (or at least many) of my flaws and insecurities just hang out. But I go about it in such a self-deprecating way that I ultimately end up laughing at myself and many of the things that would otherwise cause me crippling anxiety, so it ends up being therapeutic for me (and I like to hope others too) rather than whiny and depressing.
I’m not interested in putting up fronts. I feel like people can see right through those. I communicate best through my writing, so I want it to reflect my most authentic self. I save my suit of armor for work and other areas in which I do suffer from more crippling self-doubt.
Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..Blogging and the All-Knowing Google
I have done that as well, (the self depracating thing) but I think in the last few months have really worked on just being me online as well. We cannot be all things to all people, so it is nice to have a place just to be ourselves.
do you ever see yourself, hear your OWN in another post and wonder how it is that they are inside your mind?
this post was like that for me. People lean on me so much that they never think I need to do the leaning, that I am together and strong enough for both of us. I hate to disappoint them.
But I love how you are making me look at it, even my failures are valuable teaching lessons, even my misgivings are chances to make it “RIGHT” in other areas. I am the collective, not the individual actions.
Oh how I loved this and you. What you have done with JBE is nothing short of VALUABLE and LIFE CHANGING. xo
Kir recently posted..A Wedding in Italy: A Kimmy & David Story
xoxo
I wonder where that comes from? The need to wear that armor? I think fear, and I truly believe that movements like this help people to overcome that fear and see the humanity in others AND in themselves.
angela recently posted..Sweetness of Summer
That is beautifully put Angela. For me I think it comes from never truly believing that I was worthy of being myself—and started when I was so much younger. I think that is why this is so important to me,because I do not want to be that model of behavior for my daughter.
I can relate to this. Whether its my hair or wearing clothes that hide my lingering momma belly, I use these things to hide myself. Not thin enough, not pretty enough, not fashionable enough. Its all crap, but without it we feel naked, helpless, less…
Theresa recently posted..What kind of Momma are you?
Yep there is someone we portray, someone people think we are and someone we truly are. And that last someone takes even ourselves by surprise once we take the time to get to know it.
Stasha recently posted..Monday Listicles
great topic. great. great. great. have I mentioned I like this?
wendy @ mama one to three recently posted..When I Was 13