There are very few people who are as honest, funny, and open about being who they are as Jill Smoker, also known to many as Scary Mommy.
Jill shares stories, moments, and reflections on life on her incredibly successful site and has recently published her first book. Jill embodies the Be Enough lifestyle with humor and acceptance. She is a woman that understands her strengths, accepts herself for the good and the bad, and lives each day knowing that sometimes you can only do so much.
So it was my thrill to be able to interview her to get her perspective on being enough.
Elena: You are pretty open about accepting life and yourself as you are. You write “nothing can be lost by admitting our weaknesses and imperfections to one another.” Which of course is exactly what Just.Be.Enough. is all about. But that acceptance is so hard for so many women. What do you do when you start to feel weighed down by weakness to help yourself feel strong again?
Jill: I often find myself reassessing my life and taking stock in what’s important. Recently, I’ve been semi-obsessed with the success of the book. I got to a point where it was pretty much consuming me and taking away from more important parts of my life, so I made an effort to step back. Sure, having a #1 NYT bestseller would be amazing, but not at the cost of my children and husband. I’d rather be present for them than concentrating on book sales 24/7. Of course, I have to remind myself of this fact daily.
Do you have a role model that has helped you see the importance of being yourself and sharing your imperfections with pride? Who?
I have lots of role models in my life, but as far as really embracing my imperfections, I think I arrived to that place on my own. I always found perfection to be pretty overrated.
You mentioned that one of the things you enjoy about blogging is that you view your posts as facilitators for the discussion that takes place in the comments. What suggestions would you give to someone looking to facilitate more discussion and community?
Online, I think the more honest you are, the more people will respond. Put yourself out there and interact with your readers. Read other blogs and find new people that way. It’s really pretty easy.
Unfortunately, in real life, we aren’t rewarded the same way for brutal honesty. Finding a sense of community is so much harder than it should be.
While you may not be doing design like you were before kids, I would call you a dream chaser for having created something and nurtured it to where you, the site, and the book are today. What other dreams might you want to tackle in the next 10 years?
A dream chaser – I love that!! Honestly, what I’m doing today is beyond what I ever thought was possible, so it’s hard for me to think about 10 years down the line. Success for me is not having to work for anyone other than myself, so that’s always my goal. A better paycheck would be awesome, too.
The truth is that we could all add some Scary Mommy into our Be Enough journeys: Understanding that imperfections are like battle scars. Celebrating what makes us unique instead of competing to be the same (or better) than the woman who lives a few doors down. Taking pride in that we are who we are.
Jill’s book, a favorite among women everywhere already, is up for grabs for ONE of our lucky Just.Be.Enough. readers.
To enter: Leave a comment, inspired by Jill’s comment that she is taking stock in what is important.
Extra entries: (leave a comment for each): tweet (once a day max): “Have you heard? @ScaryMommy is visiting @JustBeEnough. Being a Scary Mommy is More Than Enough http://bit.ly/Knj7Zy”
The giveaway will end on Monday, May 7th at 11:59 pm ET. The winner will be chosen using random.org and will be emailed. If no response is received within 24 hours, a new winner will be selected.
xo
Elena
I received a copy of Confessions of a Scary Mommy for the purpose of review. No compensation was received. All opinions are my own.
Love Scary Mommy. Great interview!
Mamarific recently posted..Featured today on The Sunday Sip!
Love Scary Mommy’s blog! I would love to win her book – so refreshing!
Great interview and I also have much love and respect for Jill. And this a good reminder for me. I have been obsessing over my stats and what people are saying/thinking about my Egret the Elephant children’s poems/stories. I need to step back caring about how many Facebook likes it gets and just focus on the joy of writing.
Corey Feldman recently posted..Egret And The Girls Jam
Love Jill.
Just love her. Her book is like a BFFF in my purse at all times.
Alexandra recently posted..What It Takes To Make A Memory
HI Jill, I love the book. I have loved Scary Mommy for as long as I’ve blogged because it’s true and honest. It’s a real place, with a real woman who knows herself enough to know that it’s her imperfection that makes her perfect for us as a role model.
I can get caught up on so many things in blogland, but then I remind myself that like you Jill, that when I am not focusing on my family, my husband, myself what I am really investing in? Reading this made me realize that it’s a good thing to have something beyond this screen to call my own and because of that, it makes me better when i am in the screen.
(now let’s get you to #1 on the bestseller list
xoxoxo)
Kir recently posted..My Trip to Good Enough Mother
I already have the book and read it last week while on vacation, so I don’t need to enter. I just wanted to comment and say how much Jill’s answer about honesty in real life not being rewarded like it is online. SO. TRUE!
Great interview!
Missy | Literal Mom recently posted..When I Look in the Mirror, I See . . .
YES to this: “Unfortunately, in real life, we aren’t rewarded the same way for brutal honesty. Finding a sense of community is so much harder than it should be.”
Since I’ve become a mom I’ve found in our neighborhood it just doesn’t pay to be honest. Far better to show up on the playground with full on makeup and cute outfit – never admit the kid doesn’t sleep and the apartment is dirty… Sigh.
Jenny G recently posted..The toddler years may kill me.
I love when she wrote, “Unfortunately, in real life, we aren’t rewarded the same way for brutal honesty.”
It’s so true, and blogging has helped me accept ME. I’m less guarded and insecure IRL, but I have also seen that not everyone wants honesty. Too bad for them.
I have got to have this book!
Adrienne recently posted..By Grace Alone.
I tweeted!
Adrienne recently posted..By Grace Alone.
I bought Jill’s book and can’t wait to read it. (I read the preview chapter and was hooked.) This is such a great view of the “enough” theme.
Robin Farr recently posted..10 Random and Irrational Wishes
Great interview! I had the pleasure of riding to one of the BlogHer parties with Jill, and getting to speak authentically about having been hurt by members of the blogging community while at the conference. She was incredibly encouraging and her words comforted me. She is also wise, clearly, as the interview shows, and Im so glad you’ve introduced the JBE readers to her!
Frelle recently posted..Let It Go
It’s easy to talk the talk and to encourage, even expect other people to view themselves as ‘enough’ but so much harder to put that into practice when it comes to myself. Maybe there’s a clue in being that dream chaser, I need more self belief and that’s where the stock taking comes into play, I guess.
idiosyncraticeye recently posted..Depression’s Legacy
Jill’s right on when she says “in real life, we aren’t rewarded the same way for brutal honesty.”
I’ve loved her site since I found it. She makes me laugh.
Carolyn recently posted..How Far Do I Push?
Great interview! My family is very important to me. When I was blogging, I realized it was taking too much of my time away from them. So, I’m taking a break and I’m realizing it’s the best decision I’ve ever made because every minute with them is the absolute best.
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