I have lofty goals for this year. It is to be my year of action. My year of change.
Big things, small things – I’m ready to tackle them all.
I feel like someone who is looking up and realizing for the first time that the sky goes on and on, and I can follow it anywhere. I can fly.
Then I hear that voice. Small. Insistent. Taunting. “What if you fall?” And all the fears that tether me to the ground come crashing down on me.
But for the first time in my life I do not care. I am ready to fight back against those fears. Unwilling to allow them to tie me down any longer.
I suspect this new strength is firmly attached to the fact I am turning 30 at the end of this month.
It might sound crazy, but even though I’ve been married for 10 years, and I have a nine-year-old daughter, there is a part of me that hasn’t felt like a grown-up. Sure, I pay bills, and take care of my family, and do my taxes – all of those grown-up things – but that less-than-grown-up part of me has yet to reach out and really take control of my life.
I realize that 30 isn’t old. Not even close. But it is certainly old enough to get moving, and stop waiting around for life to happen.
Sometimes I will stumble, and sometimes I will fall. Life will not be perfect. I will not be perfect. That is okay. What I will be is so much better than perfect. I will be alive. I will be strong. I will move forward and embrace change.
I will not let fear tether me to the ground. I will fly.