Fridays mean guest posts here at Just.Be.Enough. and we are so very honored to have Emily of Suess’s Pieces with us today sharing her story. She blogs about books, freelancing and writing, shares her personal stories and is even organizing an upcoming writing contest.
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As a writer, I suffer through some pretty severe bouts of self-censoring angst. Not so much with the writing I do for my freelance clients or my full-time employer, but with the writing I do for me.
I know, right?
My personal blog should be an oasis, a safe haven. Instead, many times I worry that I will be judged severely for daring to write down what I really think. Do I come off mean? Bitter? Elitist? I worry about these things sometimes, and then I simply don’t write at all.
Although I grew up in a town that grows increasingly more conservative with each passing day, I am growing increasingly more liberal. I really, really like to cuss. I live in sin with my boyfriend. I think gay people are cool. I think marriage is antiquated. I don’t mind the idea of people receiving government assistance.
I know lots of people have similar feelings about life and the world, especially other bloggers. But I don’t censor myself for those people. I worry about the former youth pastor, my old high school classmates, and that one cousin. What if those guys read my blog?
Will they think less of me?
Will they stare at their monitors and shake their heads in disbelief at what I’ve become?
Will they try to console my poor, sweet parents and assure them they did everything they could to raise me right?
Will they stop reading?
Will they ignore me?
I’ve considered alternative solutions like writing in a journal or opening up an anonymous blog just for rants and free-writing. But then my stubbornness rears its ugly head and I say to myself, “That’s not accepting who you are, Em. That’s hiding!”
So, enough already. I’ve decided for the next month, I’m going to write my diary blog posts with a sticky note on my monitor that says, “It’s okay to cuss. It’s okay to be liberal and free-spirited. It’s okay to write what you think.”
I am giving myself permission to be me and to be bold about being me. I’m giving myself permission to be enough. I just didn’t think it’d be this hard.
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Thank you to Emily for sharing her Just.Be.Enough. story with us! What about you? What permissions are you giving yourself when it comes to your writing?
Writing is an outlet. Where you can be yourself, so bravo Emily!!
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Foodie Friday: Honey Cake
Very true! I would be a pent up, emotional mess with out it.
Emily Suess recently posted..Early Lessons in Writing
it’s no small thing to be ourselves in front of others, especially having to do with politics. if you censor less, that means you have good people surrounding you and allowing you to be yourself.
ed pilolla recently posted..The Dark Season Rolls Over
That’s a great way to look at it. If I write openly, and people stick around anyway? I can be certain that those people will stick by me regardless of my philosophies or politics.
Emily Suess recently posted..Writers’ Week Schedule Announced
Right effing on indeed.
I have to force myself to write past that same stuff, because Im so driven to be authentic and transparent.. in general, but also definitely during this particular season in my life. Im so glad you wrote this to post at JBE, and I agree with you. Off to subscribe to your blog
Frelle recently posted..Now That’s Just Uncalled For
Thanks so much for your show of support (and for subscribing!) I’m glad my muddled thoughts resonate with you.
And now I’m off to check out your blog!
Emily Suess recently posted..Apparently You Can’t Even Give iUniverse Books Away
I go through this all the time. It plagues so many non-anonymous bloggers. I’m sure you’ve seen all of the “sometimes I wish I was anonymous” comments/tweets. I think I wrote approx half of them myself.
It takes a lot of courage to write what’s in your heart. I wish I had as much as you do, honestly. I hope you stick to your guns!
Well, I’m only just beginning this journey, so we’ll see just how much courage I actually have.
Fingers crossed!
Emily Suess recently posted..Are You Ready for a Friendly Writing Competition?
I can hear you ROAR right through my screen! Go you and your uncensored self!
Galit Breen recently posted..Changes
*high five*
Thanks
Emily Suess recently posted..Doomed to be a Writer
Love this. I wrote a post that lost me some readers because I shared some of my beliefs. The irony is that the point of the post was to say, this is what I believe, but I’m not going to push my beliefs on you, I think we all have the right to our own thoughts. Que sera, sera.
NotJustAnotherJennifer recently posted..Guest Post: Divorce
Yeah, I’ve lost a reader or two along the way myself. It’s a lot like rejection, so it can be easy for me to try and write only what everyone else wants to hear. Of course, when you give in to that, you end up writing total crap that NO ONE wants to read!
Emily Suess recently posted..Early Lessons in Writing
Heh heh… I used to worry myself before … especially being afraid that family and close friends would find that I blog.
But I learned the art of blogging over time. I pretend to write for a general audience. Sometime I do put in an inside joke for regular readers.
If I’ve to rant there’s always twitter.
LOL! I’ve lost a few Twitter followers too. I guess the moral of the story is “you win some, you lose some.”
Emily Suess recently posted..That Freelance Writing Job is Whack!
Yep. I do this. I spend so much time thinking about who is reading that I forget who is writing.
Krista recently posted..The Honeymoon Story
It’s easy to do. That’s why I have to try a new approach and remind myself what I truly want to write about.
Emily Suess recently posted..Early Lessons in Writing
I love this post. I have become more “authentic” in the last year. Some things are still off-limits though. My parents & in-laws read my blog on a regular basis, and there are some things my husband and I would both prefer they not have to hear about. Ryan is really private. I’m not so much, so I’ve tried to balance things for his sake
angela recently posted..Planning for Halloween
I hear ya, Angela! We don’t necessarily have to tell everything, and it’s important to remember the wishes of people that we love. For me, the goal is to make sure that I do write the things I believe need to be put into words, for my own sake.
Emily Suess recently posted..Early Lessons in Writing
I really love this post, Emily. I just started blogging in January and the whole point was to tell the story about something difficult. Because of that, I think, it’s been easier for me to avoid self-censoring. Which is not to say that I’m not aware of who’s reading (or could be). My parents read my blog and so does my boss. So do a number of people who report to me at work. In the past that would have shut me down completely but now I’m taking a “screw it!” approach and just writing what I feel. (Easier, admittedly, when your (potential) audience isn’t filled with conservative pastors and the like.)
I say do it. We’ll be your cheering section.
Robin recently posted..This I Know For Sure
You made me smile. It’s always nice to have a few cheerleaders supporting the cause.
Although my parents don’t read my blog, my boss and a couple of other colleagues know about it and pop in from time to time to see what’s up. But I don’t really feel the need to write about work, so I’m safe on that count. (I just come home and gripe to Dan when things start to bug me.)
I should say, too, that I’ve come along way since my angst-ridden teens and early twenties. That’s a good thing.
Emily Suess recently posted..Are You Ready for a Friendly Writing Competition?
Very fresh, well written post! I do mostly review and deal on my blog, but when I write, I wonder what people think of my views too. But, you know what? I decided long ago that I am me, I may not have a perfect family, and whether anyone likes what I say or not, that’s how I feel… and I’m being me!
So, what are they gonna do.. remove themselves from my followers list? That’s their loss.
Tree recently posted..So, What Exactly is Deep Fried Beer?!
That’s a great attitude to have!
Emily Suess recently posted..Early Lessons in Writing
#1 – so happy to see you here, Emily! You’re getting such great marketing for Writer’s week, which I’m so excited about!
#2 – Fuck. I like to cuss too! I knew there were other reasons I like you so much!
Missy | The Literal Mom recently posted..Do You Lie to Your Spouse? Here’s Why It’s OK – Sometimes
LOL! We were destined to find each other’s blogs, I guess.
Emily Suess recently posted..Apparently You Can’t Even Give iUniverse Books Away
I think just about everyone who blogs worries about this at some time or other. I know it has kept me from blogging. I recently made a conscious decision to just write whatever, whenever. To just be me. To let the pieces fall where they may. People have to take me as I am or not at all. With age comes wisdom and I’m smart enough to know if I’m not true to myself, I won’t be happy with what I write. The best thing about blogging is how good I feel after writing a post. Getting it out of my system makes me walk around with a smile for the rest of the day.
Chrisor (ynotkissme) recently posted..Apparently, I like to hear myself talk.
the anonymous blog … its like a mirage on my horizon that would free up my mind, my heart, my soul
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I LOVE this post! I self-censor a lot. In both my writing and my photography. I wonder “will people think this is good enough?” I self-censor in the name of “staying on topic” and not driving away followers, and while sometimes that’s a good thing, it’s ended me at a spot with almost nothing to say. Sure, some people will stop reading and jerks will be jerks and you might have to have a difficult coversation with your mom or sister or brother in-law but at the end of the day hundress more will love you because we want honesty and transparency and we’re tired of the fakes… if only I could figure out what that means for my blog… right now.
Faith recently posted..Photography Challenge: Blooper!