The introductions of more of our amazing contributing writers continue. Today is Stephanie’s turn.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
All my life I have been stuck between too much and not good enough.
In school I was too loud, too funny, too crazy, just plain too much. In life I wasn’t enough. Not thin enough, not smart enough, not enough.
I struggled through an eating disorder and postpartum anxiety and have come out the other side thinking you know what?
Enough is enough.
I am enough. I might talk too loud, you might think I am an extrovert wanting to manipulate the conversation but I can tell you I am nervous as all hell you won’t talk to me at all! I want everyone to have the spotlight, there is enough for everyone. I might crack jokes, I am indeed funny. I might be 110 pounds or I might be 150, but it’s fine either way. I am more than my weight, my self-worth is not a number anymore. I am enough. I am fashion conscious, but sometimes, yoga pants and a tank top are enough. I am insecure about my looks and especially about getting older. Age is no longer creeping up – it is suddenly launching a speed-of-light-attack and that’s okay too. I am enough, complete with smile lines and sun spots…they just tell the story of my train wreck youth and my triumph of survival.
I may have given up my dream job for the betterment of my family. It might not have gone the way we wanted. But I am home with my two beautiful children. Sometimes I play all day, dancing in rain puddles with my three year old, singing and cuddling my boys. Sometimes I spend too much time working on the computer. My boy snuggled up next to me on his play computer to “do a wittle bit of work”, me sipping my coffee and he sipping his juice, the baby sleeping in his swing. I fight to push aside the guilt of these days and just be enough. It is enough on those days to take breaks and play for 20 minutes before getting back to work.
I’ve no more time to beat myself up for being either too much or not enough. It’s not easy to just be. It’s a struggle for me every day. But it’s time to just be me. And me is enough.
Thank you for writing this Stephanie. I am always aware of trying to not “be too” ********* (pick something). I think I will try and write a post about it actually, never really thought to put it in words!
And at least your little man is snuggled up with you while you’re working… don’t beat yourself up too much!
LatteJunkie recently posted..Blogger Abroad – 7 more sleeps.
Oh I really want to read that post when you write it! It’s difficult isn’t it? Trying to be more of one thing and less of another. Just ugh all around!
Minky {stephanie} recently posted..Enough is Enough!
You are enough.
I hope that by all of us together, saying this to ourselves again and again, that we will be FIRM in believing this.
That they won’t be empty words, but something that is truly in our hearts.
We are enough.
Alexandra recently posted..Friday Funny
Hopefully if I repeat it enough I will believe it!
Minky {stephanie} recently posted..Enough is Enough!
You are exactly where you want to be, and that is enough.
Alison recently posted..To Be Enough – An Introduction
Yes! You ARE Enough. Just like you are.
Jana A recently posted..Back To School with Amy Hiley!!
The interesting thing to me is that I remember first meeting you in real life, thinking wow—this is one woman that truly has her stuff together. Hysterical funny, beautiful on the inside and out, and a great listener. You have been through so much, fought uphill battles, and conquered them. I am so happy that you have your two boys and fab hubby to snuggle with— you deserve so much happiness….and you my sweet friend, are most definitely enough.
If you only knew how freaked I was standing at that party at Blogher, so happy to be talking to you but so worried about being too much…I lay in bed and night and go over the day chastising myself for being too loud or talking too much.
I thought the same thing about you…so beautiful and so together. I’m so glad you started this site. I love it!
Minky {stephanie} recently posted..Enough is Enough!
I loved these lines in particular:
“they just tell the story of my train wreck youth and my triumph of survival.”
“I fight to push aside the guilt of these days and just be enough. It is enough on those days to take breaks and play for 20 minutes before getting back to work. I’ve no more time to beat myself up for being either too much or not enough.”
Youre so right. Be yourself, put off the guilt, and just be. You are enough
Frelle recently posted..No More Words Than These
Thank you so much for reading, I really do try to shake off the guilt. It’s so hard. It’s so hard to believe that I am enough, and why is that???
Minky {stephanie} recently posted..Enough is Enough!
I love this: “Enough is enough.” So very, very true. That captures so much about what all this is about.
Robin recently posted..On My Anniversary
I love this story, the back and forth between too much and not enough. There will always be a give and take, I think, and coming to terms with that is the kindest thing we can do for ourselves.
You’re right. Enough is enough
angela recently posted..I’ll Admit It, Tears Fell
This is lovely and we should all take it to heart. You are so right!
Mom on a Line recently posted..Me Time
[...] come over to Just Be Enough and read the rest of my first post on this amazing site. Pretty please? With upcoming snarky tv [...]
I’m always worried about being “too much” – my feelings of not being enough make me want to overcompensate and I end up sounding like an overblown idiot. I guess the key is just being ourselves, right? Enough just as we are.
Mrs. Jen B recently posted..Tweeting a Story
I LOVED this post. Empowerment is key to fulfillment. This post was a sign to me, validating the thoughts in my head. You are gorgeous, smart, funny and more than enough. You are just right. Thanks for sharing!
Kmarie recently posted..Blame, Guilt and I
I have always been told I was “too much” too, but I always take it as a compliment anymore..if I laugh, why not laugh loudly? If I cry why not sob…feelings things is such a human experience and if I am going to live, I want to llive out loud”. Good for you knowing that being YOU is always more than enough. What a great post!
Kir recently posted..Falling Into It
“I am enough, complete with smile lines and sun spots…they just tell the story of my train wreck youth and my triumph of survival”
Love that line! Total self acceptance….you are enough!!
So glad you are here!
kelly recently posted..Be Enough Me: The Color Yellow
Wonderful, honest post. You are right–we don’t have the time to pretend anymore. It’s too hard and it’s not worth it!
Rach (DonutsMama) recently posted..I Want A Refund { Just.Be.Enough}