I have been MIA.
The last blog post I wrote was thirty days ago.
I had just celebrated my first blogversary, had a series of guest posts lined up, and was going on a short vacation with my daughter for her spring break.
We went to Paris and then Courchevel for skiing. I had an amazing time. So many things I wanted to share in my blog! I’ll write about it tonight, I thought to myself.
That night I turned on my laptop, downloaded some pictures, and went to bed. I’ll write tomorrow.
Several days passed, and still I didn’t log in. I’ll write when I get home.
I’ve been home for two weeks now. There was never a day that passed by that I did not think about my blog and my online friends, yet every time I sat down and faced my laptop, I couldn’t bring myself to write. I would start typing a sentence or two, but then got distracted. Or allowed myself to be distracted, to be exact.
I found myself wrapping birthday presents for my daughter’s friends way ahead of time and cleaning my wallet of old receipts in my spare time. Things I usually do strictly on a last-minute basis.
I could continue to deny it, but the truth was I didn’t feel like writing, and I didn’t want to write. It felt like I had not written for so long, had not been in touch with my bloggy friends, had not even tweeted, that now I’m intimidated about going back and picking up where I left off. It seems much easier to stay away… That way I don’t have to explain anything, don’t have to admit to my readers that I have not enjoyed writing lately, or face logging in to WordPress only to find out that I’ve lost a significant number of followers.
You’re such a bad friend… look how you treated your guests who did posts for you the last time. You didn’t give them the attention they deserved!
Nobody’s gonna care if you never write again…
You’re such a quitter! Are you really going to disappear without any explanation?
Like a coward, I avoided my blog, Twitter, and Facebook. I stopped checking my blog’s emails. I didn’t want to be reminded of how long I’ve abandoned my blog and my online friends.
Then a few of my bloggy friends* tweeted me, expressing their concern and letting me know they’ve noticed my absence. I’ve missed them too. Apparently more than I realized. I missed reading their stories and sharing a part of their lives. I missed their presence in my life.
Slowly, I’ve started to want to write again. I am not ready to give up blogging. I don’t want to let my online friends down because their friendship is as real as the ones in my real life. I need them in my life. And maybe, just maybe, they need me too. Maybe, my presence in their lives does make a difference.
So here I am. Sweaty is back. Even if it means I have to start from scratch again. No doubt I’ve let some people down, but I need to face that as a consequence of what I’ve done. I’ve fallen off the wagon, but this time I’m NOT giving up. I’m getting back on.
It’s a start.
Have you heard? Next Monday, April 23rd, Be Enough Me is taking on the topic of labels with a special prompt inspired by Ashely Judd, called Change the Conversation.
It is time to look past the obvious for ourselves and our families.
We’re inviting posts from voices everywhere to share your labels and who you are beyond that. The focus is whatever you need it to be– from our lives as moms, dads, parents, spouses, professionals, survivors, athletes and more. We invite you to join us, to celebrate our strengths, to celebrate our diversity, to celebrate our voices and change the conversation.
Come back next Monday for the very special link-up. We cannot wait to take the conversation by storm with our voices.
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