I have been MIA.
The last blog post I wrote was thirty days ago.
I had just celebrated my first blogversary, had a series of guest posts lined up, and was going on a short vacation with my daughter for her spring break.
We went to Paris and then Courchevel for skiing. I had an amazing time. So many things I wanted to share in my blog! I’ll write about it tonight, I thought to myself.
That night I turned on my laptop, downloaded some pictures, and went to bed. I’ll write tomorrow.
Several days passed, and still I didn’t log in. I’ll write when I get home.
I’ve been home for two weeks now. There was never a day that passed by that I did not think about my blog and my online friends, yet every time I sat down and faced my laptop, I couldn’t bring myself to write. I would start typing a sentence or two, but then got distracted. Or allowed myself to be distracted, to be exact.
I found myself wrapping birthday presents for my daughter’s friends way ahead of time and cleaning my wallet of old receipts in my spare time. Things I usually do strictly on a last-minute basis.
I could continue to deny it, but the truth was I didn’t feel like writing, and I didn’t want to write. It felt like I had not written for so long, had not been in touch with my bloggy friends, had not even tweeted, that now I’m intimidated about going back and picking up where I left off. It seems much easier to stay away… That way I don’t have to explain anything, don’t have to admit to my readers that I have not enjoyed writing lately, or face logging in to WordPress only to find out that I’ve lost a significant number of followers.
You’re such a bad friend… look how you treated your guests who did posts for you the last time. You didn’t give them the attention they deserved!
Nobody’s gonna care if you never write again…
You’re such a quitter! Are you really going to disappear without any explanation?
Like a coward, I avoided my blog, Twitter, and Facebook. I stopped checking my blog’s emails. I didn’t want to be reminded of how long I’ve abandoned my blog and my online friends.
Then a few of my bloggy friends* tweeted me, expressing their concern and letting me know they’ve noticed my absence. I’ve missed them too. Apparently more than I realized. I missed reading their stories and sharing a part of their lives. I missed their presence in my life.
Slowly, I’ve started to want to write again. I am not ready to give up blogging. I don’t want to let my online friends down because their friendship is as real as the ones in my real life. I need them in my life. And maybe, just maybe, they need me too. Maybe, my presence in their lives does make a difference.
So here I am. Sweaty is back. Even if it means I have to start from scratch again. No doubt I’ve let some people down, but I need to face that as a consequence of what I’ve done. I’ve fallen off the wagon, but this time I’m NOT giving up. I’m getting back on.
It’s a start.
It’s enough.
xo
Sweaty
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Welcome back, Sweaty!
Kimberly at Rubber Chicken Madness recently posted..Just Be Enough: Faith
Thank you, Kim! I am so touched by all the responses! It IS good to be back!
Sweaty recently posted..Learning How To Catch a Wave
Welcome back dearie! I hope your break gave you a battery recharge
I missed you. xo
angela recently posted..Finding the Right Shade
Aw, Angela, thank you, sweetie! I hope so too! It’ll be interesting to see how this affects the way I write. I know I feel a lil rusty writing a post after so long, but at the same time, I think I have more ‘calmness’ and ‘peace’ about blogging now. I’m so looking to moving forward
!
Sweaty recently posted..Learning How To Catch a Wave
Blogging can be exhausting – and no matter why we choose to write/share/express, we should always be doing it on our own terms and if it’s too much? Then breaks are allowed!!
xx
Lady Estrogen recently posted..Is that you I smell on me?
Can I just say I love you to the moon and back? Thank you for being there for me even when I was MIA. I treasure our friendship more than I can ever express through words! This ‘break’ has really given me a vivid sense of what it means to write on ‘my’ own terms. I’m just blown away! xoxo
Sweaty recently posted..Learning How To Catch a Wave
I’ve thought about you, Sweaty. I figured you were enjoying a long mental break.
Blogging can be freeing, exhilarating. And exhausting.
Working through issues, exhausting.
Avoiding something: EASY. Turning around and making yourself get back on that horse, the one that takes you to some very good places: HARD WORK.
You’re doing the hard work, Sweaty. And you know you’re no quitter.
That’s why we have this wonderful post here today.
You did it.
Alexandra recently posted..My Birthday Post
Your words are always, ALWAYS spot on, my sweet friend. Gentle, loving, and wise. That’s you.
Thank you for those words. Thank you for being a friend who never stops giving. Your comment here gave me more than that little boost I needed to start taking charge again of where I’m going.
Love you, dear Alexandra. I’ve missed you more than you know!
Sweaty recently posted..Learning How To Catch a Wave
I know exactly what you mean. I’ve lost my blogging voice at the moment. Being offline is the escape for a change!
Fiona @ My Mummy Daze recently posted..Missing my blogging mojo
Oh dear, I know that feeling all too well! Take a break if you need to. Know that you’ll be missed while you’re gone. Don’t lose your sight in your absence though. You matter; we’ll be here when you return.
Sweaty recently posted..Learning How To Catch a Wave
Now stop bemoaning your lack of attention to us and regale us with your vacation, share your pics and make us wish we were there … and know we are always here!
By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Theta Mom, Heather Reinhard – my Monday Muse
Nicole, you always knew how to make me smile!! Yes, I better get to work posting all those pics… I have to say that while I was there, the weather couldn’t have been more perfect. It was heaven! Thank you for your comment, girlfriend. Luv ya to bits!
Sweaty recently posted..Learning How To Catch a Wave
Oh sweet Sweaty – you know you are so forgiven – as if there was really anthing to forgive anway. You have a life — you are most certainly allowed to step back and enjoy it. And, it sounds like it’s been wonderful lately. So when you are ready to share it with all of us who missed you so, well, I hope it’s clear now: we’ll be here waiting. much love hon! <3
RoryBore recently posted..Let’s Party! UBP 2012
Aw Les… can I ever make it up to you? You wrote such a beautiful, poignant, meaningful post for me, one that I truly treasured, and yet my action had probably shown you otherwise. I’m so, so sorry. But from the bottom of my heart, it was one of the most special gift anyone has ever given me. It’s forever branded in my heart. Thank you for the gift that is your friendship. It’s been a guiding light that led me back.
Sweaty recently posted..Learning How To Catch a Wave
Another one who’s glad you’re back! Sometimes we just need a little time away.
my honest answer recently posted..How To Spot a Rebound Relationship
Thank you so much! I feel so blessed knowing that I have many online friends who are glad I’m back
And if anything, absence did make the heart grow fonder–I have a new appreciation for blogging now. I’m really looking forward to this new chapter in my life!
Sweaty recently posted..Learning How To Catch a Wave
Welcome back dearest! And don’t worry, you most assuredly haven’t let me down. I will of course be concerned if I don’t see your awesome posts for a while, but it’s because I care, not because I feel cheated. It’s OK to need a break, and I’d much rather you take it when you need it than force yourself to write. We have to be true to ourselves. So good for you for allowing yourself some time, for allowing yourself to get distracted a bit. We’re happy you’re back, and we don’t have any rules or requirements.
Venus recently posted..Gotye Making Mirrors Review
Speaking of letting myself get distracted… boy did I do a swell job doing that lately! Hahahaha.
Thank you for being there for me, dear Venus. It’s moments like this that I’m reminded yet again how real blogging friendship truly is. You’re right… I couldn’t write if not from the heart, and lately that’s what I felt I didn’t have: the heart to write. At the end though, I rediscovered that I loved writing. I still do. The break’s given me a new perspective on what blogging in my own terms really means
Sweaty recently posted..Learning How To Catch a Wave
I have really been forcing myself to write every day. Partly because I am enjoying it for the firs time in a very long time. But I also know if I break the pattern it could be all too easy to stop.
Corey Feldman recently posted..Yizkor
Yes, it would’ve probably been easier to just stop and walk away… but at the end, my love for writing and the friendships I’ve made here have guided me back. It’s a constant effort, for sure, trying to find a good balance between writing from the heart and writing consistently.
Sweaty recently posted..Learning How To Catch a Wave
I have, indeed, missed your presence. I am so glad that you were taking care of YOU. Paris and Courchevel…so fabulous! I must admit a bit of envy
We were in Paris a year ago right now…I so wish we were there again. You are not defined by your number of followers, nor by the frequency with which you tweet. These are not things that determine worth or friendship. Whether you blog once a week, once a month or almost never, most of us will still be here eagerly awaiting your words 
Welcome back, Sweaty 
XLMIC recently posted..Just hurt me.
My dear, sweet Einstein, how you would have loved Courchevel!! The weather was perfect and the view was spectacular, so much so that I would’ve actually run with you (and let me tell you, Sweaty running? That only happens once in a blue moon!).
Thank you for still being here for me even after I’ve been gone for quite some time. Your comment here means so much to me. I’ve got to catch up on all the ‘Einstein’ things I’ve missed!
Sweaty recently posted..Learning How To Catch a Wave
The only really noteworthy thing you missed would be my ‘sexy’, kick-ass video…not for those lacking a sense of humor. It’s my ticket outta here…I don’t know why it hasn’t gone viral yet
You are have been very missed 
XLMIC recently posted..Just hurt me.
It’s good to see you, Sweaty! You are always missed, and the people that care about you aren’t going anywhere.
Greta recently posted..Gluten Free Friday: Kid Favorites Edition
I should’ve known that, but more than anything I know that now!! Fo’ sure
Thank you for reading this, for being my friend, for your continuous support, Greta! xo
Sweaty recently posted..Learning How To Catch a Wave
I often think of taking a LONG, LONG, break from the keyboard. I want to just sit somewhere and think and just be. I’m glad you did this, because honestly Sweaty, you NEEDED it. The last year has been so emotional, so distracting and so very very hard for you, but through it all you were amazing, you were vocal and verbal, you wrote, entertained and banished demons BUT I know that you needed time to step back, to revaluate and to sit in your own skin with your daughter.
it was necessary.
I am very glad you’re back, I thought of you so often but I also didn’t want to FB or Tweet you, I wanted to give you enough chance to just come back when you were ready. It reminds me of when i was pregnant and I went on Bed rest. I just couldn’t blog, couldn’t write. I just had NOTHING to offer but fear, insecurity and honestly I just wanted to be QUIET, To sit with myself. When the boys were born I came back, little by little and just like Greta said….those who loved me, who cared, they were RIGHT there waiting for me. Just like we always will be here for you my dear sweet wonderful friend.
xoxoxoxo
Kir recently posted..Just Be Enough: At the Back of the Boasting Bus
You were not a bad friend. You needed a break. We all do.
It’s normal and expected.
I’m glad you recognized it and took time away.
I misses you.
Leighann recently posted..Two Candles
I think everyone needs a break now and then. Right now, I’m in a kind of imposed silence, with my computer being broken (again), and prepping for a vacation next week. I haven’t felt like writing much, either, and luckily working on a very slow computer is giving me the excuse I need to step away for a while. I think breaks are healthy. I think they’re good. But it’s nice to see you back again, Sweaty!
Brandi recently posted..Blog Spotlight :: Just Be Enough
Don’t be hard on yourself! If you need a break, you take it then come back. You have a loyal following and I’m sure they’ve all been waiting for your return. Just keep writing.
Gina recently posted..The Sensuous Woman by “J”: Book Review, Sort of…
You’re one of the reasons I blog. I missed you and can relate to the fear. Again, you inspire courage and I am grateful. Welcome back with much love, Ms. Sweaty.
Kimberly S. (Sperk*) recently posted..Save It for Later: Topics that Wore Me Out
I can’t believe I clicked over to post and saw we had written about a similar experience. I was relieved. I admire your writing and found solace in the fact that we all occasionally have the feeling in the pit of our stomach when we turn on the laptop. As well as the fear that we won’t actually be missed. Thank you for that.
Miss Marina Star recently posted..Balance Schmalance
I , like everyone else, does not begrudge you this break. As some said, it was much needed. Sometimes life gets the best of us and we can’t do ONE more thing. I’m glad you are back and have wondered why nothing came to my inbox after your vacation ended but looked at my own life and thought, well, maybe she’s just as busy as I am. Welcome back!!!
Susi recently posted..Time to join the party…#UBP12
Great post! There are so many days I think about writing all day.Obsess would be a better word. Those are the days I fearfully avoid it.
Adrienne recently posted..The (NOT) Birthday Party.
Today. Just today I was thinking about walking away for a bit. Shutting it all off and letting my blog sit for a while. I may still do that but here now. I know I’m not alone thinking that way. I’m so glad I know you and read this today. I needed it.
Welcome back
Kristi recently posted..Shortening the Alphabet. The Letter “F”
It’s cool. It’s very good you’re back (since I started following your blog like in the middle of your hiatus I think) I personally think it’s natural to come back from a vacation too drained to write.
Jester Queen recently posted..Memories Captured April: My Three Loves
I have thoughts of walking away and actually find comfort in knowing that there appx 1 bazillion blogs out there just like mine. The www would keep on keepin’ on. And so would my life. But then I remind myself that I’m here for me and my story. And have somehow found a group of people that likes to read about it too.
Breaks are for the better ones. The most brave. I think anyway!
Jamie recently posted..oh the places she goes
Welcome back, you.
I’m excited to see what your steps look like – and where they take you – now!
Galit Breen recently posted..Memories Captured April Linky!
We all go through it at some point in our blogging/writing lives. It is totally ok. We love you and will always be ready to read your words….when you are are ready to share them!
Kelly recently posted..Pushing Pause
Glad you had an amazing vacation. Don’t beat yourself up over the blogging hiatus! Many of us have been there too…at the point where you stop and are not sure you ever want to start up again. But I’m glad to see you’re back. And I’m sure many many others are glad too
Jen {at} take2mommy recently posted..Alien Body Snatchers Pose as Little League Baseball Players
I took several months off…and then came back and switched websites. haha. Sometimes you’re just done for a while.
Kadie recently posted..Who’s To Say
Okay, now I’m mad at myself for leaving a comment on your blog that said I sucked for not keeping in touch because that means I’m not being accepting of what I can and can’t do when it comes to blogging. Of course, then I should also be upset at getting mad at myself because I shouldn’t beat myself up for making one mistake. And now this is really just going round and round. . .
PartlySunny recently posted..Let Him Eat Cake
Love you, Sweaty. And have missed you so! I’ve felt this way before. I’ve walked away because that was the easy thing to do. The brave thing is coming back. You’ve done that, and I’m so proud of you for it.
Katie recently posted..The Tiny Thumb Theory