We are currently prepping for Hurricane Sandy. If we are to believe the news, this is a storm of epic proportions and we are to batten down our hatches for at least the next three days. The kids’ school has been cancelled until Wednesday. The fashion show my daughter and I were to walk in today was cancelled. We’ve filled our car with gas, gotten our cash from the ATM, and charged all our gadgets. We have tied down the outside furniture, lifted valuables off the basement floor, and filled the cupboards with non-perishables. We’re ready, so now we wait.
And I do everything in my power to hide the fact that I am terrified of storms. Yes, terrified. I have no idea why I get almost paralyzed with worry over flooding and wind and fallen trees. I’ve never had any major experiences to justify the anxiety. I recognize it’s irrational, but it is a fear none the less. The problem is, when you are a parent, you are no longer allowed the luxury of irrational fears.
There are small people I’m charged with protecting – not from the storm per se, but from the worry and madness surrounding the storm. All the end-of-days news of evacuations and shore damage is enough to make the toughest person shake in their boots. Imagine if you are small and you have no experience with storms and you think the worst of everything the smart weather people mention.
I can’t add to that with my own worries. So, I play tough. I prepare and I explain every step as being cautious, but probably not necessary. I try to focus on the fun stuff (two days off school, a kitchen full of banana bread and pumpkin muffins!). I do everything I can to assure my kids we’ll be just fine all while holding my breath and crossing my fingers behind my back in hopes that we really, really will.
So far, it seems to be working. The kids are doing just fine. It seems storm prep has extended beyond the deck chairs and into the hearts of those at the kitchen table.
I just hope I’m mom enough to keep this up until the tides recede.
xo
Cristie
It must be tough! My thoughts and prayers are with you! It is definitely hard being the tough one, expected to be able to kiss every woe better.
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It is so tough to hide those fears and anxious feelings so they don’t transfer to the little ones around us. I have this issue with escalators – and when my daughter was very small I would make myself take a deep breath and step on even though I wanted to run away, so she wouldn’t be afraid.
I hope you are in a safe place this morning. Sending prayers for all of you.
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Thinking of you and hoping you’re ok! It can be difficult for me to work through it, especially when the fears are silly, like spiders or bees. I try to remain calm, but it doesn’t always happen. It gets more complicated when I can’t articulate the fear to them without making it worse, like leaving a park when I get an “off” feeling from some guy wandering around.
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