This Friday’s guest post brings us the voice of a very dear friend. A woman whose soul is like few others. She is kind, she is generous with her love and friendship, and she is strong. Frelle is here today, reminding us that what has once been broken can be restored to its natural beauty.
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Imagine this piece of pottery unbroken, unremarkable, and sufficient for whatever it was designed for. Nothing special.
The process of restoring it with this beautiful gold design is called aggrandizing. The gold accentuates the broken part of the bowl, and makes it much more beautiful than it was before.
When I look at this picture, it reminds me that I am enough.
That I have always been enough and that I am enough now.
I am enough because of my history, not in spite of it. It reminds me there can be beauty that comes from being broken and damaged. Who would have known that repairing a broken bowl would change its appearance from ordinary to extraordinary? Like the bowl, there is opportunity in growing and healing from my past to make me more beautiful than I ever was. I’ve learned that I have more capacity for compassion, I have an ability to see more and deeper, because I know what to look for in someone’s eyes, and know to listen intently to people when they are talking about their emotions. If I hadn’t experienced similar feelings of loss, betrayal, isolation, abandonment, depression, and self-hatred, I wouldn’t have such empathy and feel a personal connection to others’ pain when they are willing to be vulnerable and trust me with where their heart has been. The friendships I have made as a result of these conversations have added immeasurable richness to my life. I’m grateful for the insight that comes from my life experience, the good and the not so good.

Many people feel a profound sense of shame for the difficult circumstances and seasons they’ve been through that cause them to feel damaged and broken. They feel humiliated about being in a situation that made them fall apart and have a need to put themselves back together. They want to hide those parts of their story. They might be willing to remember the lessons they learned from the hard times, but tend to gloss over the broken season where they felt lonely or scared or suffered through grief or depression.
Those universal feelings are regarded as weak, and society tells us they should remain hidden. Yet those feelings are the cords that really connect us. When someone takes a risk and shares their story with you, that identification affects your heart, and you don’t feel so much shame about your own story. C. S. Lewis once said, “Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one!” We’re all so afraid of being real.
Part of my sense of feeling like I am enough right now, just the way I am, comes from those opportunities I have to be real with others. To think maybe the journey that has brought me here can have a redemptive aspect for others. I am certainly still healing from the pain in my life, I have some fresh wounds and some barely healed scars. The lyrics from this song apply directly to my life even this week:
“I’ve been shot down and I’ve been torn apart
Living out songs about a broken heart
Blinding ambition, stabbing in the dark
And waiting for a better life to start
With every turn we learn to take it slow
Redemption waiting further down the road
We change and everything is temporal
And time will tell us where we’ve got to go”
- The Trews – “One by One”
But even as I’m waiting for a better life to start, I can provide others with encouragement, validation, and help them feel less alone in their darkest moments. I can choose to be brave and speak my truth. I can choose to not dwell on how hard things have been, to take care of myself, to take it slow, be patient with myself as I recover and heal, and to try to use the lessons I’ve been taught by the universe to help others.
—
Didn’t I tell you that she was amazing?









I’m speechless, Jenna.
(And that’s really saying something!)
This is breath taking as always, thanks for sharing so much of your heart here.
Galit Breen recently posted..A $200 Giveaway with Minted!
Thank you for those sweet words, Galit. I’m always so encouraged by you, and I respect you so much as a writer that when you tell me my writing is breathtaking, it helps give me more confidence. I feel validated by someone I am sure is a better writer than I am. Your writing is so emotionally evocative and sensory filled, and I really learn a lot about writing by reading you.
So wonderful to see you here Frelle. I love the broken bowl analogy – I’ve never thought of life that way before. Thank you for opening my eyes to such simple truths.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Less Is More
Thank you for appreciating the visual. It really is very startling, and memorable, and illustrates so clearly how something that’s broken and then repaired can be even more beautiful.
I’m with Galit, you have left me speechless. Beautiful post. So glad to see you here today.
Kelly recently posted..The Striiv Challenge Week 2
Thank you Kelly! I’m grateful to have been invited to guest. It’s an honor.
Love the broken bowl. It immediately became my son’s scars, which I’ve always considered beautiful.
My own, not visible scars have taken me longer to appreciate. I do know now, that they are an important part of me. A necessary part of who I am.
Thanks for this.
tulpen recently posted..Golden
im so grateful that you stopped by and let me know how the visual affected you, and about your own journey. *HUG*
Frelle recently posted..iPPP: The Welcome To My New Place Edition
This is exactly so sadly truth.
Our brokenness is what makes our beautifulness.
And you are wonderful, Frelle.
Alexandra recently posted..Bil Keane, You Made It All Possible
im glad for the validation that you agree. and that you can see the beauty in yourself and in others. *HUG*
Frelle recently posted..iPPP: The Welcome To My New Place Edition
You are amazing, Jenna. It’s what I needed to read right now (having a bit of a rough morning).
Thanks for sharing!
Im sorry you had a rough morning, but grateful that when you came to read, my words spoke to you. i appreciate your responding and letting me know, it means a lot.
Frelle recently posted..iPPP: The Welcome To My New Place Edition
Frelle, you made my cry with your courage to speak up here. I know how much you struggle, and I am SO VERY HAPPY that you have the quiet confidence that you really are enough. Everything you said here is absolutely true and that beautiful quote? I want to put it on canvas and hang it on my wall. It’s that important to me. Thank you for making me feel beautiful every time you talk to me. You definitely are enough, and I’m glad you found ways to remind yourself of it.
The Drama Mama recently posted..A Hallmark Moment
your words touched my heart and gave me goosebumps. Thank you so much for reading and for pouring your heart out in commenting. I’m so grateful for the connection we’ve made, and that you know that I really care about you. And your compliments are so sweet.. treasured words when Im not feeling so sure of myself.
Frelle recently posted..iPPP: The Welcome To My New Place Edition
I love you, my friend. You are such a beautiful and brave person.
i love you too, and you are brave and beautiful too. so glad we found each other and had opportunity to spend time together. Looking forward to catching up with you sometime.
Frelle recently posted..iPPP: The Welcome To My New Place Edition
This is such a strong message, and you tell it the most beautifully of everyone I know. That’s beauty in itself.
Robin recently posted..Life List: The Next 15
what stunning words. thank you, Robin. Im so grateful for you, for your perspective, and for your encouragement.
Frelle recently posted..iPPP: The Welcome To My New Place Edition
An amazing story: That winnie the pooh saying comes to mind “Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. Christopher Robin to Pooh” I have only read one post and you made me teary. Thank you so much for sharing. I have joined your blog and hope that you pop over to mine one day soon and visit me when you have time I return to yours again again and again I am sure… Take Care. Cheers SpecialK… XoXo
http://adaywithspecialk.blogspot.com/2011/10/special-story.html
SpecialK recently posted..a special mug cake…
thank you so much for reading and commenting! Im glad you want to look around on my blog, there is a lot of emotional writing there. I will absolutely come visit you. Great to meet you here.
Frelle recently posted..iPPP: The Welcome To My New Place Edition
Inspiring and heartfelt and just what I needed. Thank you.
Sara Padilla recently posted..Scattered leaves
thank you for letting me know it was what you needed, its so helpful to know that my words can validate, encourage, or comfort. *HUG*
Frelle recently posted..iPPP: The Welcome To My New Place Edition
Frelle, this is so beautiful. I love the aggrandizing example – it’s images like this one that I will remember, probably forever. Thanks!
Cookie’s Mom recently posted..BOOK GIVEAWAY! Two advance copies of The Golden Sky by EC Stilson
thank you so much! I felt the same way. I need a piece of aggrandized pottery in my house. its that symbolic for me.
Frelle recently posted..iPPP: The Welcome To My New Place Edition
This is absolutely beautiful. Your spirit is laced with so much gold and strength and beauty.
oh my goodness Angela, thank you for those sweet words. *HUG*
Frelle recently posted..iPPP: The Welcome To My New Place Edition
You are bviously a very smart lady who has been through some stuff! You have a great attitude which will always carry you through.
Just Jennifer recently posted..Kids Love Moms Who Blog!
thank you so much for the encouragement and for stopping to read and comment!
Frelle recently posted..iPPP: The Welcome To My New Place Edition
This was so beautifully written. Nobody is immune to challenges and tragedy. This article/post says what I feel often, but your words speak it better than even my mind could create. We DO have more of ourselves when we have been broken. We are closer to our truth, and our ultimate beauty. I agree that our experiences shape us, make us stronger, and in turn, show more of our true colors. Thank you!!!
The Puzzle Kids recently posted..Two Boys on the Autism Spectrum: “It’s Not Fair”
thank you so much for coming to read and comment. Im so grateful we met through my syndicated post at BlogHer. I’m humbled by your comments, too. I owe you an email!
Frelle recently posted..iPPP: The Welcome To My New Place Edition
You are so incredibly beautiful. I remember not too long ago the hard days. I even remember worrying. Not any more. You are a force to be reckoned with. You are also more beautiful on the inside then I ever thought. You are an amazing fighter. An just so selfless. Again, this was beautiful!!! on all parts. Well done!
thank you so much for your amazing comment. Im so grateful for your words. To hear that you worried on my behalf, and how you feel now. its just staggering to read how others think and feel when I share my heart.
Frelle recently posted..iPPP: The Welcome To My New Place Edition
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Elena, Frelle is one of my most supportive friend throughout the whole of my divorce process. She has always been there for me with her comforting words, friendship, and understanding. She truly is one in a million. A very inspirational woman, who despite going through so much hardships and pain, has managed to stay positive and move forward.
Frelle, you are indeed enough. You are a wonderful woman, a loving mother, an amazing friend. Love you, girlfriend. Thanks for sharing your past with us. Thanks for inspiring us by the way you embrace your future.
Sweaty recently posted..Time for Tea!
i love you. i know you are a very private person, and I seriously just long to know you better. I love the way you pour your heart out on your blog about this process. it resonates with me, even though our experiences are much different. I feel that pain. I feel that emptiness and bottom dropped out from under me feeling, the not knowing how my life will unfold. the complex emotions that are layered and messy. Im so grateful for your sweet words about me and to me. Words I will print out and keep. *HUG*
Frelle recently posted..iPPP: The Welcome To My New Place Edition
Co-dependency is a foreign idea to some people, especially men, because it alludes to giving power to someone else. The thing is, when each of us marry, we do so to be with someone for the rest of our lives. Think about the vows you take. It doesn’t say, do you agree to marry this person as long as they don’t turn into a ragin’ a-hole?
The point is, for emotional people like us Frelle, when we fail (like divorce), it crushes us. Then we have to rebuild ourselves in our own way and image. That’s really friggin hard.
You are enough because you are YOU. Don’t ever let anyone tell you and make you feel like YOU are less than anything.
Beautiful words from you
Lance recently posted..Bring Me Some Water
Thank you so much, Lance. For understanding, for verbalizing what’s behind what I say, and for your encouragement. #bestbigbrotherever
Frelle recently posted..iPPP: The Welcome To My New Place Edition
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