I’ve never been a “bells and whistles” kind of girl. Comfort and functionality trump appearance. Even if it makes me look good, if it doesn’t make me feel good, I just don’t do it.
And I always assumed this was a basic tenet of common sense. Why on Earth would anyone do something that doesn’t make them feel good only to look good?
Even though there’s a multi-billion dollar beauty and fashion industry behind the opposite of how I feel, I’ve still never gotten it.
That’s why my undergarment selection consists of good, old, comfortable cotton. I don’t care (mostly) if my cotton unders peek out of my pants a little. Or if they cause some panty lines here and there.
Are they comfortable? That’s all that matters.
Part of the issue, also, is what’s on top. I’ve never had the option to consider things like push ups, “demis,” “lace,” “biofit,” or “very sexy.”
I wear a DD. The only thing I can wear is full coverage. Anything else becomes laughable when tried on. Except when I’ve done the dance so many times I can no longer count.
“Hi! I need a new bra.”
“Great! What size are you?”
“Okay! I’ll be right back.”
(Comes right back.)
“Here you go! I got the demi DD and the push up DD.”
“Right. Thanks. Could you now go get me the full coverage DD? If I push anything up, it will be spilling out of my shirt. Or resting somewhere above my neckline. And if I ‘demi’ it, I’ll create four breasts instead of two.”
It might seem funny. And it is.
Except sometimes it’s not, because you see all of those pictures of scantily clad, hot, clearly rapturous-just-because-of-the-style-of-bra-they’re-wearing women and no matter how educated you are, or how old you’ve gotten, it rubs off and you don’t feel enough.
You may be endowed with more than enough in the chest region, but you certainly don’t feel “enough” in the store.
I imagine I could compensate with my underwear choices by going sexier down there. But I don’t. Back to that comfort and practicality thing.
And I recently discovered, much to my utter shock, that I may be in the distinct minority here. Women really do like wearing lacy, frilly, silky, sexy, where-does-that-string-go-the-front-or-the-back underpants after all.
Or maybe they don’t like it. But they do it.
Why? I still haven’t figured that out yet.
So I bought some to see if I can learn to like them.
I’ll let you know if it makes me feel better about myself. Or if cotton really is enough for me.
In the meantime, I’m still trying to figure out which is the front and which is the back.