It had taken weeks of preparation and days of packing. But once my very heavy bag of clothes, shoes, lotions and potions was hauled off the bus and I dragged it up to the taxi line, I was  beyond excited to get to the Hilton in NYC for BlogHer12.

I can imagine that many of the women checking in that Thursday morning had flutters in their tummies and a tiny bit of apprehension about being in a space with 5000 other ladies. People they’d read for years, people they looked up to and admired, people they were ready to get to know beyond the screen.

I thought about that as the taxi whisked me away to the hotel. I thought about what I was feeling and how I would react to the realization that soon I would be able to hug, chat and share while looking into the eyes of these women I loved.

I was not nervous.

Well, not about that. I was nervous about getting to the Pathfinder sessions on time, I was slightly nervous about the fact that I had to pee…again. I was nervous about finding enough time to go to sessions and be able to socialize the way I wanted to, but I was never nervous about the real life meetings.

So when I walked into the lobby and saw my roommate, a girl I had known online for 7 years, I screamed and hugged her. When I walked into the Pathfinder day and found faces looking up, faces I recognized from avatars and blogs, waving at me, I waved right back and smiled and tried NOT to scream since we were in session. I sat down and looked around and realized that I was among friends, I looked around and eased back in my chair and sighed happily.

I was home.

Among my villages.

Within my circle.

Every hug, every scream, every teary eye, every picture taken was authentic and real. These women who had changed my life with their comments and support, with their willingness to offer me friendship and to encourage me on my happiest and darkest days were suddenly sitting in my life. They were laughing and sharing; they were tearing up and reaching out, changing me and teaching me about BEING ENOUGH.

From the women who loved my shoes, or enjoyed my very long stories, to the women who taught me kindness and told that very off color joke that had tears rolling down my face. From the women who danced and shimmied with me on the dance floor to the lovely ladies of my panel who held my hand and my heart as we answered questions. I was just amazed at the beauty, intelligence and creativity I was surrounded by.

I felt so lucky to be able to sit in the light of these phenomenal women.

So that when I pulled that bag out the Hilton and loaded it into the car with my husband and children waiting for me, I knew I was never going to be the same; in every possible way.

How BlogHer12 Taught Me to Be Enough

The Babes of BlogHer12



About Kir

Kir is finally a wife after decades of dating, a mommy to twins after years of battling infertility and a writer after filling a mountain of notebooks with her stories. She gives a voice to infertility, fibromyalgia and celebrates other mommies while spinning yarns, eating cupcakes and buying high heels on her blog: The Kir

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