My tween and I are starting to clash.

how-do-you-talk-to-a-tween | JustBeEnough

Why can’t the mother/daughter relationship be like this forever? I carry her on my back and she rides along, content and happy?

photo credit

She’s getting closer to those all-important teen years where her need to assert her independence will outweigh her need for…me.

Sigh.

But the other issue is that we’re just not listening to each other. The moment I open my mouth to say practically anything, she’s interrupting me to show me how much she “already knows, Mom,” about whatever issue we’re talking about. Even something as simple as what time dinner’s going to be ready.

The moment she starts interrupting me, I see RED. Or if there’s a color even angrier than red, that’s what I’m seeing.

Because I hate to be interrupted.

And when she interrupts me to show me how much she knows, my need to show her how much I know rises up. Almost like bile. Because I hate my need to do this. But I hate to be interrupted more.

I think (I think - I can’t be sure), that if she stopped interrupting me, our interactions would be much better.

But this area is exactly where one of my three words for the year is so important.

Deliberate.

I need to be deliberate with my approach to her. I need to deliberate before I jump in and shut her down every time she interrupts me to share her supreme knowledge.

This is a time where she still wants to talk to me. And that’s huge, because it will change. If I start the pattern of not listening to her now, then she’s just going to be all the more likely to listen less when she hits those teen years.

I know this.

Being deliberate is really important to me. And her. Us.

But Lordy, can the girl stop interrupting me? I think we’re going to have to find a happy medium in there somewhere.

Any advice on that? What strategies do you have for how to talk to a tween?

xo

Missy

About Missy


Missy Bedell blogs at Literal Mom where she encourages all parents to be thinking parents. She uses wit, humor and sometimes even tears to share her message. But above all that, there is hope, for our next generation. You can also find her on Twitter at @LiteralMom.

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