I did it. I left my baby. I lived, but just barely.
My firstborn was well over a year before I left him. It was, of course, for a blogging conference and while I had a great time I also felt a ton of guilt. This week I was invited to The White House to attend a tweet-up for the State of the Union. I answered yes before I had even a moment to think about it. There was no thought to think – I was going to The White House! Later that night as I ran through a mental checklist reassuring myself that I wouldn’t forget anything I realized I would really and truly be away from my baby. I pumped extra milk for a baby who had never taken a bottle before while I charged up my phone, my laptop and my husband’s iPad. Nothing would go wrong.
Nothing did go wrong. It all went well. I took the metro all by myself. Alone. Reading a book, wearing an outfit without the accesory of baby spit-up or 3-year old handprints or, shudder, the traces of being used as a toddler Kleenex. I felt free and sad. I got a latte. I walked around and then I headed over to The White House with my husband. We tweeted our little hearts out and I felt like my old self again.
I felt that familiar burn and told my husband, “Huck is hungry,” unconciously touching my chest. My husband responded, “Honey, they’re filming this. Watch what you do.” I dropped my hands and gave a little laugh. You can’t take me anywhere.
When we got home Huckleberry was awake, smiling in his grandmother’s arms. He took one look at me and then smiled widely and reached for me, holding me tight, wrapping his fingers in my hair, and snuggling close. I left and then I came back, and the world didn’t end.
It was incredible but I don’t think I’ll be hurrying out the door without him again soon.
Unless the President calls again.
Looking at that oicture, I’d find him hard to leave too.
bridgetstraub.com recently posted..Happiness Tuesday #27
Sigh. Coming from another mama who has yet to leave her baby (toddler) for more than an hour or two in 18 months, I am both in awe of you, and madly jealous. I’ll get there. I hope.
Jayme recently posted..Light and Dark
Oh, what a little sweetie. Too cute. I’d hate to leave that little guy, too. I left my son at six MO to go to a wedding in Boston. I went across the country and back in less than 36 hours. We’ll do anything to get home to our babies. BTW – The White House?? Dude!
Melissa recently posted..Spin
Aw, I know that feeling too well, dear friend! My daughter is now seven years old, and every time I have to take a short-trip out of town, I would be the one having the separation anxiety–not her!
Really, it’s like heaven on earth when you first lay your eyes on your baby after being away from him, isn’t it?
Sweaty recently posted..Thoughtful Thursday Blog Hop
I went back to work after Abbey, but she was a year before we left her overnight. With Dylan, I thought it would be easier to leave him, because I’m spending so much more time with them. I was wrong; I feel more guilt now! But anyway…
What an amazing opportunity for you, and of COURSE you said yes! I’m sure it helped to know he was in excellent hands, but there’s just nothing like seeing them again when you’ve been gone
What a lovely story! And I love the picture. I’m glad you had such a great opportunity and were able to do it with success! Congrats.
Missy | Literal Mom recently posted..City Slickers and Your Best Day Part Deux
How exciting!!
And you made it home ok. The babe was fine and you had a great day!
Awesome
Leighann recently posted..The Other Half of Mental Illness
If Obama called, I’d leave too
I’ve only ever left the toddler with his grandparents (5 minutes away!) overnight once. And that was when he was nearly 2. The 2nd time we did it, he came home at 1.30am, he couldn’t sleep without his Mama. Sigh.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Tasty Thursday: Chicken Rissoles
So tough. I remember the first time I left Connor – he was a few weeks old and I went to the mall for an hour or so. It was very traumatic.
You did great!
Robin Farr recently posted..A Successful Ski Trip
You always come back and THAT’S what Huck realizes.
Life As Wife recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: Eleven
What a big step for you and for Huck! So excited for you to have had the opportunity!
You are one amazing momma. That must have been so tough but I soooo happy you had that (freeking awesomsause OMG can you believe it… The State of the Union!!!) opportunity. State Of the Union, time with just your hubs and Tweeting allowed and encouraged… pretty sweet deal. And what sweeties your two boys they were… great while you were gone and over the moon happy to see you when you came back. Like any of us ever doubted how crazy they are for you!! -LV
i LOVE this! it’s just a perfect description. you go on, mama!
alisha recently posted..january
I loved that you said “yes” before you even thought about it…you’re right…it’s THE White House. I laughed when you husband said watch what you do! We always go back, they’re always in good care and there’s always a good snuggle waiting for us!
Gina recently posted..How Can I Leave My Sunshine With an Almost Stranger?
It is SO HARD to leave our babies! But wow, what an amazing opportunity you had. You had to go do that!
Just Jennifer recently posted..January’s Best
I was soooooo jealous of your opportunity, and so proud of you for going and then writing about it so honestly for us.
I honestly think I’m not hard wired correctly, because I have never had that point of “maybe I shouldn’t go”…I miss them but I love having that time to myself. I’m just so glad you got to go and be part of that amazing night.
xo
Kir recently posted..“Scooped” Up!