Today we share the last of our writers’ introductions. Today we share the story of our lovely Alexandra.
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Today was the second day of school for my three children. My first two were already dropped off for the day, and I only had my youngest left with me in the car. I like to joke with him that I save “the best for last.”
We were smiling at this corny joke as I pulled up to an open parking spot, where another mom ready for drop off had also just arrived. I stepped out of my car and walked around to open the van door for my son. There was a little boy getting out of the car in front of us at the same time.
“Hi, Auggie!” a friendly little voice shouted and waved to us. “Hi!” my son greeted back. I shouted out to the mom, “What a beautiful morning, isn’t it?” She looked up briefly, and gave me a tight lipped smile, but no words were returned.
Our two families walked side by side to the school’s entrance, with me stabbing at light topics on the long block walk. “How’s your son liking school?” and “Anything special packed for his lunch today?” were both answered with one word: “Fine.” and “No.”
I was thinking this mom may just not be a morning person. I didn’t take anything to heart, until we arrived at the school’s entrance. As if hit by Cupid’s arrow, the drawn face she had with me broke out into a glorious tooth filled grin. “Hi, everybody!” she rang out in 125 decibels across the school’s front yard. And, if that personality shift weren’t enough to stun me like a fish dropped into cold water, she then began to hand out pretty flowered 3×5 party invitations. She handed them to every mother there in the small group, but glossed over me.
I became silent, and put on a soul-sucking fake smile for my son, “Have a great day at school, Auggie! I love you.”
“Love you, too, mama!” and he went running in through the doors that were propped open for the morning.
I watched my little boy go in for the day, and I stood there alone. My head was filled with the question of how someone could not know just how hurtful it was to pass out invites to all except me. My thoughts then went to, “It’s me. It’s something about me. Something’s wrong with me.
I knew this, at this very moment, would be my post for Just.Be.Enough.
We are enough to ourselves; we are enough. I do not have to be included in things, or be popular, or in a clique, or in a group that excludes, to be enough.
I am enough because I am there for me. I am enough because I have been there for others. I am enough because I seek the company of others who get the reason we are on this planet together.
I am enough, and I am grateful to have a place to have these words said publicly. I am grateful for Just.Be.Enough, and the readers/contributors/followers we are amassing here.
We are all enough. And we cannot let others make us feel any differently.
xo
Alexandra
My heart hurts for you, and Im glad you have a place to come share a story like this. You ARE enough, and other people’s treatment of you does not determine your worth or beauty or anything else about you. I love your heart, and I’m so glad you’re part of the JBE site. You have so much perspective, depth, wisdom, and love to share here. I appreciate you.
Frelle recently posted..Now That’s Just Uncalled For
Thank you, Frelle. I’m glad to have met you. It’s exciting for me to see the changes, from afar, that you’re blossoming into.
It’s wonderful, really, this freedom you’ve found, and I know it’s through the support of the internet community.
We have quite a gift here, don’t we? I”m so grateful for it.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Thank you for the beautiful message, Alexandra. I’m beyond happy that you’re part of JBE, spreading the message of Be Enough. That people cannot see and appreciate you for you, it’s a reflection on them.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Foodie Friday: Honey Cake
We are lucky to be here.
I know it.
From the very first time I met you, I knew, we were on the same page.
Thank you, for your support, always, A. I count on you.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
I’m constantly amazed by stories like this. There are so many things I try not to judge, but lack of basic manners and kindess are harder to overlook. Thank you for sharing this here; it is a reminder to always treat people the way I want to be treated and, maybe more importantly, to teach my children to do the same. I am firmly convinced that parents that act in that way are part of the reason that bullying is such a widespread problem in schools; the behavior is shown to them at a young age.
I am so sorry you had to experience that but so glad you realize that you are absolutely, positively enough. I feel lucky that I have found and connected wiht you, and the people in your real life who don’t see that are losing out!
angela recently posted..A Coffee Mug
Thank you so much.
This is exactly what I thought: such a contrast: her friendly, sunny child against her self motivated agenda.
Her little guy saw it all.
Shocking. But, then, my values, right?
I can’t put them on her: she may not care that she excludes. If she saw it growing up, then she is desensitized to it.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Every fiber of my being wants to scream “What a stupid mom!” but I am doing this kindness thing. So instead I’ll just say, “how unfortunate for her.” Please come to my party. Any time.
story recently posted..My open PR letter
What a fun party that would be. Thanks for being here today.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Wow, I was going with “shyness” but that was just plain rude. (And beyond that as a shy adult it’s not acceptable to ignore someone!)
Yeah, no, she wasn’t shy.
She turned it on megawatt all 64 teeth showing when she was with her peeps.
What she was, was a good lesson in how NOT TO BE, especially when your child is witness.
Thank you, for stopping over. I appreciate it.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
I saw the tweets about this and still can’t believe it. If she’s going to invite only some kids, she at least needs to mail the invites to their homes so not to be a public display like this!
I remember you following the tweets. I feel so very blessed that the internet exists. I was able to come home, and take it to twitter.
And came out less than 5 minutes later…laughing, And with a new T shirt idea .
Love how you always support me, everywhere I go. Thank you.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Oh you. Thanks for writing this- putting it out there. We talk a lot about adults modeling kind behavior for children but rarely {if ever?} do we talk about how meanness affects adults. And we do feel things like this, how could we not?
This was perfectly done, shining on your heart, as always.
XO
Galit Breen recently posted..Changes
Thank you, Galit.
You know, if we put it out there: maybe someone who needs to see it, will.
I hope so.
Thanks for always being here for me. I appreciate it so much.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Stories like these make me wonder, when are these women are going to become enlightened? When will they realize-they are enough? Seriously, do they not understand that their pristine SUV’s, pretty purses, and party invitations don’t make them better than anyone…it just makes them fancy assholes.
The saddest part of these women is that, all too often, they have children. They raise mean, catty girls and little boys who like mean, catty girls. I believe eventually we will become enlightened and realize we are all the same…humans. Something will shake them to the core someday and they will understand, but until then…just keep being you! You are enough!
Don’t you wonder, if people like that, just never turn to the internet, because their world is the way they want it.
Maybe it’s the introspective type, the ones who watch and see and absorb on a different level than they do, that turn to the internet.
I don’t know.
Thank you so much for being here today. I knew, at that moment, this was a JBE post.
xo
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Thank you, all so much.
So very much.
I love Just Be Enough, and having the safety of this place to go to with these feelings.
It’s so difficult sometimes to carry them alone.
I often wish we’d move, but is there a guarantee this same thing won’t happen in another city?suburb? town?
It was a hard morning, I came home feeling not so good about myself, and I took this to twitter, and for those of you that followed the stream: we made it so hilarious.
We so did. We laughed about it, and came up with this T shirt to order: ” I took it to twitter. Twitter says you’re a *****.”
SO FUNNY.
Thank you to everyone here, the blogging community is not perfect BUT 99.9 % of it saves my life daily.
THANK YOU.
Alexandra recently posted..Why I Will Attend A BlogHer Pathfinder’s Day Again
Oh, Alexandra I am so happy that you are a part of Just Be Enough. You *get it*. You get how life SHOULD be lived and point out how it should not. I am sorry that someone so rude would make you feel this way, but know that it is her loss.
You. Are. Enough.
And we all love you.
kelly recently posted..Look Who’s Coming to (Bloggy) Dinner
Kel, I’m happy to be here, too.
xo
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
That’s just tacky & rude. I hate people like that
imperfectmomma recently posted..Really, Pampers? Really? – Ode to Pampers Diapers
Yep. We have to start teaching our kids “It’s cool to be kind.”
xo
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Our summer was a quiet one this year. As the boys grow, their “social deficits” stand out more. I noticed even the parents weren’t inviting us to cocktails and fire pits like in years past. It hurts. I have to believe that they can’t be that evi,l that mean. But sadly some people are. They don’t care if it hurts our feelings to be excluded or to exclude our kids. I see how hard we work to teach our kids social skills and manners and so many parents with “neuro typical” kids don’t teach any manners at all. Joining Twitter and the blogging community has saved me. Thanks to such amazing women like you. Thank you Mama!
Hey, have you been to this website called findingkind.com?
It’s pretty cool, they post all these instances of being kind, can you imagine how cool if kids and people TRIED to be on that?
Neat, huh.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
I suppose in the spirit of just be enough, I should find some compassion for this woman, who maybe knew she had fucked up when she saw you get out of the car. But then I think, nah…she’s a grownup and old enough to know better. And then I think (don’t you love the stream of consciousness?) that YOU, Empress are absolutely fabulously enough. That woman, on the other hand? Is a jackass.
deborah l quinn recently posted..first the amusement parks…then the world…?
I know, I know: I came home and told my husband about it.
It was pretty unbelievable, but, yet, it happened. I just discovered a great website called kindcampaign.com. SO INTERESTING, esp. if you have daughters…like you do.
SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Ugh. You’re gorgeous and I love your message. I know these situations hurt. Every time I feel this way, I try to close my eyes and tell myself that I’m sure I’ve made someone else feel badly through carelessness or callousness or ignorance. Then, I resolve to do my best to tread a little more gently through the world … and THEN I get to buy a big Starbucks Chai Tea Latte because mean people suck
xoxo. You’d be at every party I ever threw!!
I’m with you. I think of how easy it is to negatively affect someone, by an oversight..and when it’s blatant like this?
How can people allow themselves to be this way?
Again, I remind myself: MY values, imposed on someone else.
It may not matter to them.
I’d rather leave the world in better shape, when I’m gone.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
That kind of callous blatant cruelty is shocking to me. This post left me aching for you. I’d likely have teared up and then felt worse for being vulnerable. What a post; thank you for your honesty.
Carrie, think of the good times we’d have together.
We would have such a good time in each other’s company.
At least we had Paris…or BlogHer.
xo
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Oh, my friend. My heart breaks for you all over again. But I love how you have come around to view this, and I’m proud of you.
Lizz (@canbeafunnygirl) recently posted..Coming around to Happy
I look forward to the rib crushing hug you promised me.
NYC??
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Wow that was just horrible of her. I’m sorry. But you’re right, we are each great and beautiful people no matter how many party invites we get. That’s a hard one to truly feel inside when someone blatantly does that. But who needs her?!? And her stinkin party. It’s her loss not having you there xo
Cristi @ Motherhood Unadorned recently posted..Suicide Prevention Week is Sept 4-10 #StopSuicide
That’s the point, Cristi: if we get this out in the open, maybe others will see this, or hear about it, and hopefully become more conscious of their actions.
It was a tough morning, but twitter had me laughing. Especially with the T shirt idea. xo
So great to meet you.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Alexandria, I am at a loss! I want to say I am surprised but sadly I am not. I am sorry that this happened to you because exclusion is always painful! You are enough and I’m glad you have an outlet to discuss this. Thank you for sharing this experience with us!
Sammie Love recently posted..Just Being Me
Yes, you hit the nail on the head. ” I am surprised, but yet, I am not.”
I was, too: the very same feelings. Couldn’t believe , but yet, here it was: happening.
That is the ugliness of the world. Which is why the rest of us have to work double time to bring more light, right?
Thank you so much for stopping here today.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
I’d read several of the tweets about this yesterday and wondered what had happened. I agree with Twitter!
I’m sorry you were hurt. Situations like this are exactly why you spring for the $10 for stamps in the first place. I wish a place existed where this sort of thing doesn’t happen, but unfortunately, I think it’s everywhere, or at least everywhere I have friends or family that it’s happened to.
:::hugs:::
Judy recently posted..Someday.
Oh, yes, the tweets: I went from sad to laughing in less than 3 minutes.
What a great community I have.
I am so lucky.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Umm. Wow. That’s incredibly rude. I wonder if perhaps you remind her of someone in er past. You never can tell. But I can tell you this: her actions say much more about her than they do about you.
I’d love to have you over for a party! You’re good people and you most definitely are ENOUGH!
Minky {Stephanie} recently posted..Helter Skelter.
No, I don’t think I remind her of anyone: therein may be the problem.
I’m much too different.
Thank you so much for the party invite, shall I bring the wine, or appetizer?
xo
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Oh, my dear. I’m so sorry grownups can’t show the same courtesy and kindness which they’re supposedly teaching their kids to show. I have so many feelings and emotions surrounding this and can’t even get them out in a coherent way.
I’m so glad you could take this to Twitter and have other reinforce the fact that you are wonderful and loved. I would probably pee my pants with happiness if you came to my party. Just sayin.
Mrs. Jen B recently posted..Labor Day Recipes
Oh JenB: you are always so very, very kind.
I love knowing you. xo
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Her behavior is all about her and has nothing to do with you. Learning not to take things personally is one difficult task. Never-ending opportunities arise to learn this lesson. Sometimes, I’d like a break from that. ^_~
Well done.
Cheryl recently posted..I could be right . . .
Cheryl, whenever I get a comment from you: it’s like a post –so full of wisdom.
You are a treasure to me.
Always have been.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Awww girl, forget that SeaHag. You know the invite still stands to come sing karaoke in my backyard and piss off my neighbors!
I really don’t understand the parents at my kid’s school either. I remain polite and keep my distance. The drama between them is just sickening. I have a great circle of people around me as I expect that you do as well. Those are the ones that matter. Those other people are not worth our time or concern. You are not just enough, U. R. Awesome.
DG @ diaryofamadbathroom recently posted..Odoriferous Chillin
HAHA!
Seahag.
I love you.
xo
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Consider it a shitty little gift–an opportunity to remind you of your OWN power to live the way you want to live and surround yourself only with those who build you up.
I only wish there were more of them in your real life community.
xo
Ann recently posted..Kill Joy
Thank you, Ann.
You know, I’ve kept that soul soaring email you sent me a few weeks ago, when I needed it so much.
You have helped me GO FIGHT WIN more than you can imagine.
Thank you for so much.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Oh, Alexandra, I just can’t imagine anyone being such a jerk and excluding you in such a mean way. Grrrr. I so want you at ALL my parties. And if I win the lottery and get a private jet, you WILL be! What a lovely, brave post. Hugs to you.
Varda (SquashedMom) recently posted..I was Styled At BlogHer!
Varda, you are so very cool.
SO VERY COOL.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Oh, my heart goes out to you, Empress! On the bright side, isn’t it so much better that it was you who was excluded from a party, and not your little son? One of my sons struggles socially, and even though I invite every boy in his class to his birthday party every year (and most of them show up for the laser tag and cake fest), he never gets invited to the parties of other boys. I understand the reasons why some parents limit birthday guest lists to “just your closest friends,” but they don’t seem to realize that the same kids are getting left out every time. To be a mother is to send your raw, naked heart out into the world, and stand by helplessly when it’s under assault.
If this chick can’t appreciate your royal qualities, she doesn’t deserve you.
Hugs!
Rebecca Grace recently posted..Anders’ Birthday, Back to School, and Puppies
What a comment!!
Thank you. I know, what is so sad, is her little guy was SO VERY SWEET.
And then she did this in front of him. I wonder how much of that registered: that it’s ok to treat people like that.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
you are enough…and that sucks that someone would do that…seriously…intentional or oversite…there is no excuse…i am glad we can be enough to ourselves…it does hurt…but….
brian recently posted..Insieme è meglio (a silent poem)
Brian, you are such a solid source of support to me, my writing, and to Baby E.
I hope you know that.
Thank you.
p.s. How was the kidnapping?
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
I missed all of this on Twitter, but it sounds like you got the right shirt out of it.
This type of insensitivity and ignorance baffles me. I know how much more aware I am of these types of slights now that I have kids of my own… I don’t understand how this seems to be lost on so many people.
My daughter started a 2-year-old room two mornings each week last year, and I was amazed at how quickly some women seemed to maneuver for “position” during drop-off time. It seems to be a merry-go-round we never quite escape from.
Much love to you. We’ll have our own party again soon enough.
ChiMomWriter recently posted..Cleaning House (and Our Skin Care Routine)
ChiMom:
So sociologically interesting, isn’t it?
WHY is this so important, above all else, to some people?
Why is being cool and popular, more important than setting an example of the right thing to do, in front of your child??
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Reading all of your wonderful comments here…thank you.
I think we need to start our own little town and change the world bit by bit.
I just remember how she did this in front of her son: just, not nice, you know? And he saw it.
You’re all so awesome.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Wow. This makes me cringe. It’s no wonder that kids turn out to be judgmental and self-centered when they have parents like this woman as role models. What a shame.
When I was in grade school, they had a policy that party invitations could not be passed out at school unless there would be no exclusions. That meant that either every child in grade or every same-gender child in the grade had to receive an invitation, or else they had to be mailed privately. I never once heard of any kid in my grade being glossed over or left out.
Good for you for putting on a brave face for your son. At least he won’t be corrupted by that little boy’s mother!
Kimberly recently posted..Sometimes…
I know, I know: I’d never pass out invites and only to some.
SO WRONG.
But then, some of us grow up. and some of us don’t.
Thank you for being here today. xo
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
I am so happy you were able to shrug it off and get to a happier place about it, but I SO understand your feelings.
Sometimes I wonder how some kids (please God not mine) get to be as vicious as they are. How they exclude others “just because.” How they have packs that refuse admittance to the sweet, new child.
Then I meet their parents and I don’t wonder as much anymore. There are so many of living our lives and trying to make a true, honest-to-goodness difference in the world.
People like this make it hard.
People like you make it easier. Through your kindness, spirit and perseverance.
Missy | The Literal Mom recently posted..Do You Lie to Your Spouse? Here’s Why It’s OK – Sometimes
Awww, thank you so very much.
I hope so.
I hope I make people’s lives a little brighter here and there.
I really do.
xo
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
You are so much more than just enough! You are beautiful and radiant inside and out. The loss is that womans. I also feel sorry for her child because obviously she will miss your Auggie at her party. Our school has a strict policy, either you invite everyone or you send the invitation to the home of those you do invite. None are to be handed out at school for this very reason. This woman sounds like she has her own issues. Don’t worry about her . I know it is hurtful to be brushed over or aside but if that’s the type of woman she is, you don;t want to know her. *HUGS*
Truthful Mommy recently posted..During Pregnancy, Shi*t happens
Hmmm…and you wonder why we hit it off just like that??
We must see each other soon.
NYC?
NYC.
xo
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
And in the end of it all, what really matters in this story is the part where your son turns back around and says, “I love you too, mama.”
Because to him, you will always be enough.
And to your other boys and your husband.
More than enough.
And better than anyone else.
You’re the mama and you are loved the way you are.
I know. I know
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say 100,000 times more: my children save my life every day.
Thank you, for always being so supportive of me, and where I go.
Truly. I need you to know that.
xo
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Alexandra, first off, I’m so glad this site exists for you to share your painful story on. I saw you mention this site on Twitter and had to check it out. It’s an incredible affirmation of support for one another. Your writing is so beautiful. You’re able to make us feel the pain you go through, almost too deeply.
I’m just like you in that I would’ve tried being friendly with this woman, then made excuses in my mind for her like “she’s having a bad day”, etc. The fact that she was so blatantly callous and tactless is horrible. I’ve been in similar situations and I understand not being invited and included in things. There’s just a way to do it without rubbing salt in the wound. I never want to make others feel bad but I’ve noticed some people don’t care when they do. Others even seem to revel in causing an awkward, uncomfortable, even stinging moment for someone else.
Always remember you’re a wonderful, caring person and your family and all of the Internet knows it to be true! xoxo
Chrisor (ynotkissme) recently posted..Apparently, I like to hear myself talk.
Oh, Chris, please PLEASE submit your OWN story of when you felt, you were enough.
It’s a great community to be a part of, here at JustBeENough.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
I really dislike the women that make you feel “less”, that exclude you and are the reason we have to write blog posts about being enough…because it’s obvious that they don’t know you! They don’t know US and how we are more than enough every single hour of every single day. It hurts me in a place in my heart when this happens and I want YOU to know that in every way you teach me to embrace who I am..and be proud of it, even the things others might deem “not enough”. Those women don’t know u…and they are “less” because of it. Xoxoxo
Kir recently posted..Let’s Make a Deal
Kir, you and I have talked so much.
About how people do like to spread the sting of “I’m in and you’re not.”
We see it in posts, in tweets, in public behavior.
Some people really do like to make themselves feel as if they’re “winners” and we’re not.
It takes all kinds of people in the world, and the others–like me–on the outskirts, feel the sting more than most.
I think it’s what makes us write, don’t you?
Love you, dearly, Kir.
xo
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
I think in fact you were Just Too Much. Too beautiful. Too kind. Too endearing, generous, magnanimous and thoughtful. There are some people who don’t like people who shine the way you do. Or maybe she’s just an asshole. Either way I affirm for you that it’s not about you. And I appreciate you reaching through my computer screen to remind me that I am enough as well. xoxo
The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful recently posted..Go The F#%k Back To School!
TWFKAB:
Do you want something from me?
Like maybe a Thursday mention?
I kid, I kid! I LOVE YOU!!!!!
And, you , baby girl, are so much more than enough, as I told the blogging world last week Thursday.
Yes, you are.
xo
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
I was talking with a friend about a woman we know at our child’s school, who precedes every conversation with “You know, I went to Harvard and Columbia.” We were rolling our eyes at how annoying that is, when a third friend said, “It breaks my heart for her. Can you imagine the fear that would induce someone to give her resume every time she opens her mouth?” As you can tell, this third friend is a much better person than I am.
But it was a powerful reminder that most of the time, it’s not even about us. Why this lady shut out you, Empress, glorious you of all people, says so much more about her than it does about you. Glad you wrote the post, and now you can get back to being important to the people who know you best.
Nancy Davis Kho recently posted..Camplified
Oh, and now, I wish you were sitting here with me, on this rainy Saturday afternoon.
So good to know you.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
You know I already love you, but I think this should be titled “I Am More”! Those encounters jab us even though we know we shouldn’t let them, but we just need to remember to rise above, be both sorry for them that they are like that and glad that we are not, and appreciate all of our DELIGHTFUL friends (Bloggie and otherwise!) Women can be our own worst enemies. Maybe that’s why the word “girls” starts with “grrr”, hm?
Oh, Crayon:
adorable crayon.
When are you going to send us your story here, and just being enough?
I know you have one.
Happy to know you!
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
To add anything else to these amazing comments and to your poignant story of sheer rudeness would be beyond my reach. Suffice it to say that I am so incredibly thankful for you–for your wisdom, for your perspective, for your humor…and for your heart. You make me smile and laugh and cry— and you remind me of all the good that there is in the world. and that woman? She had better stay far far away from your bloggy army, because I would happily lead the charge to tar and feather people for acting like idiots. xo
I will say it a thousand times over: blogging has saved my life.
I have found a community so supportive. I can’t imagine ever giving that up.
Thank you, Elena, THANK YOU, for the incredible forum you’ve provided us with at JBE: we can speak, let our stories out, and work on changing things, one post at a time.
Such a pleasure to be here, and part of JBE.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Wouldn’t you just love to have all of us come to your town and invite her over for a tea party? Show her how lovely you are and how many lovely friends you have. And maybe, just maybe, have a little side conversation with her about how things like that can be hurtful and see if she gets it? I would come, and I wouldn’t even call her names. Honest.
Robin recently posted..This I Know For Sure
You know what? You’d be the perfect person to handle this.
You’d do it and she wouldn’t even notice you’d do it.
That’s the fabulousness of you.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
I carry my badge of diplomacy with honour.
xo
Robin recently posted..This I Know For Sure
I could sense that about you right away, mama. xo
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
I can never understand how people can be so unspeakably rude and insensitive like that! I’m sorry you were hurt.
I’m thinking you may be better off without that invitation. I’d rather be with REAL friends anyway….the party may be smaller, but it’s always more fun!
Ann recently posted..Bourbon Chicken….GRILLED
Oh, Ann, you’ve become such a supportive part of the blogger family I have.
Thank you.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
I remember so clearly (and probably with a small stab of pain) having a similar thing happen to me when I was in middle school. I guess this shows that some people never grow up.
I’m excited about this JBE community y’all are building here. It is going to rock.
You, my friend, are SO enough. You are amazing.
Tracie recently posted..I Am With The Band
Tracie, you and I have so much in common.
I love you dearly.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Love you too!
Tracie recently posted..Domestic Violence Isn’t Sexy
Thank you for the wonderful message here. We should remind ourselves that we are not defined by other poeple but ourselves. I’m sorry that such a thing happened to you. It is a hurtful situation and you are inspirational for not taking it to heart.
Kiddothings recently posted..Life’s Lessons/Words of Wisdom – The Hometown Edition
Yes, that is why I love being part of JBE.
We’re getting a discussion going, which brings awareness.
I hope you submit a story of your own of when you decided you were enough.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
I am SO angry on your behalf! So angry that anyone can be so hurtful and awful! But we only have control over ourselves and our own actions in this lifetime. We can choose to hold our heads up high and be the “bigger person”. We can also choose to key the bitch’s minivan.
Lola recently posted..Indisputable Proof of Intelligent Life
Lola, if we were together right now, and I’d ask you to raise the roof on her head. Oh, wait, that’s not wht the kids mean by that, do they?
xo
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
I don’t know. As much as I TRY to be cool? It seems to be a losing battle. What if we “Cabbage Patched” her ass? Is that something?
Lola recently posted..Indisputable Proof of Intelligent Life
That just makes my heart hurt. We have a policy at our school that invites are not allowed to be passed out unless all kids are invited to a party. It would’ve made much more sense if she would’ve mailed them out or did an e-vite. It just amazes me how people just don’t think about other people’s feelings.
Sometimes we also need to realize that we are better because we are enough. I am so glad that you did not take this to heart (I am so sensitive I probably would’ve cried in my car afterwards.) You are my inspiration Alexandra!
Jayme (The Random Blogette) recently posted..Ride ‘Em Cowgirl!
Jayme, thank you. Your kindness this morning makes me smile.
Let’s start our own town of nice people, alright?
xo
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
What a hurtful experience. I’m so sorry this happened to you and I’m glad you rose above it. You have such a good heart and we seek our own kind. She obviously isn’t your kind. It seems to me that this isn’t a person I would want an invite from anyway. Feel blessed! You escaped her evil clutches : )
Motpg recently posted..Sweet Pea Soup
You nailed it.
My husband was home from work that day when I returned so wounded after drop off.
I told him the story, and he looked at me, and said, “you don’t want to be with those kind of people anyway.”
He’s right…
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
these people, i don’t know where they come from. but we have to just do what you did. let it go, best we can. always a challenge. this is such a great forum for this post. sensitive people like you will be hurt in more situations than that mom, but your sensitivity allows you to create art in the form of storytelling people without a sensitive side mostly cannot do.
ed pilolla recently posted..The Burnt Crown
Oh, thank you, Ed.
I am so happy to see you here.
You have so much to share with us, and I’m excited to for all of us here, to read your words on our link ups.
Thank you so much.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
I can’t imagine anyone NOT inviting you to a party. I bet you’d be a riot!
And thanks for introducing mt to this site… looks like I have a lot of interesting people to meet here!
Karla (Mom2LittleMiss) recently posted..Seven years ago today…
I’m so happy to see you here, and I hope you do submit a post on when you knew you had to be enough.
It’d be wonderful to get to know you this way.
You’ll love JBE and the community here.
Please consider linking up a post every Monday. For every 20 link ups we get, we are able to donate a cancer memory book to a family surviving cancer.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Wish people could just be kind. Usually people who act like that have something to hide or something fo prove. Either way, it is her issue and karma will sort it out eventually. What goes around comes around.
You know, sometimes I don’t want to believe in mean girls, but then I see this and I think that, yes, there are people who love to feel powerful and popular and live life on a different plane than I do.
I was seeing a counselour for awhile, and she told me that I couldn’t believe this behavior b/c I’d never do it. She said I was putting my value on others, and that others, just aren’t bothered if they hurt people.
Some of us have an altruistic gene, a tendency to feel empathy for others: and some don’t.
I think that’s it right there.
So happy to see you here!!
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
I want to thank you. All of you.
I also want to encourage you to submit a post, and tell us your story of being enough.
We can really change minds: for ourselves, for our children, for our friends.
We can do it.
Alexandra recently posted..Party Invites Don’t Matter
Lord.have.mercy. Unbelievable how cruel and unthinking people can be. And it always breaks my heart when it’s women, especially mothers, who are passing on their example to their children. Oh, and by the way, not that it matters, since YOU ARE ENOUGH, but you would be first on the list to any of my parties
I know, I know. It’s up to all of us, who live on a different plane, to try and make up for this other segment of the population.
Like I said, her son watched the whole thing.
So sad, and unnecessary. She could have waited till I walked away. But she stood so close to me when she passed out the invites, that I could smell the shampoo from her morning shower.
You’re a dear one, dusty. xo
Alexandra recently posted..Important Zombie Things I Forgot To Tell You And A New Toy I Like
Ummm…did she not know that you ARE the EMPRESS?
People never sieze to amaze me and their lack of what’s the word i’m looking for??? social skills…compassion…a facken brain… Who does that. If you’re not going to invite someone to a party or whatever don’t hand invitations out in front of the person(s) you’re not going to invite.
But that’s not the point.
I’m glad that you recognize that you are enough. That you don’t need her invite to feel validated.
You are pretty facken amazing in my world friend. I hope you know that. You always have an open invitation to visit me in Canada…we can roll around in my yard with the polar bears
Kimbelry recently posted..You Are Worth The Fight: National Suicide Prevention Week
You know it! I mean, not that I”d be at your party, but that I’d like you, in person, you know.
XO
Alexandra recently posted..Important Zombie Things I Forgot To Tell You And A New Toy I Like
No, wait, I mean, I WOULD BE AT YOUR PARTY!
SHeesh.
Alexandra recently posted..Important Zombie Things I Forgot To Tell You And A New Toy I Like
Alexandra- I am so happy you shared this story. I read it the day it ce out but didn’t have time to comment. I soooo know how you feel. I was so very happy your son was oblivious to her actions. So often it is not is it is them. It doesn’t help matters, but can make the hurt go away faster. It was so truly insensitive of that women and just not appropriate. Maybe she knew all along what she was going to do and that is the reason she acted so odd. I’m so very happy to see you found the Just.Be.Enough in your story. Meaningful for all us to read! -Laverne
Don’t you just love it here?
Such amazing women.
Glad you’re part of it, too.
Alexandra recently posted..Important Zombie Things I Forgot To Tell You And A New Toy I Like
I have been there. In your shoes. I have wondered what it is about me that doesn’t fit with some group or another. Thankfully you are strong. There are those who could not handle such a despicable act of rudeness. I try to always remember what thousands of mothers have told their children “they are just jealous of you”. Most likely they are. But I think it’s enough that you are brave enough and smart enough to not let it affect you as a person, as a mother, as a wife. That is more than enough!
Kimberly recently posted..In with the NEW!
my kids go to a school where many of the moms are like this. i am usually on the outs with those moms because i definitely don’t try to fit in with them. at first their behavior upset me a bit, because why would they exclude me w/o bothering to find out who i was? then i quickly realized, why would i want to spend my time with a bunch of uptight women who want to outdo each other socially? what a bore-fest. capital ZZZZZZZ’s.
now i feel sorry for them because they are missing out on all the fun that is france. i have my own tiny little posse of school moms that i trust and crack up with my observations and jokes. we are always laughing while those other moms look like they are passing a kidney stone. sometimes i actually sigh in relief that i am not in their group, because it can hardly be fun.
those stupid moms at E’s school are missing out the kind person that you are and you should feel sorry for them because they are so dumb. for real.
FranceRants recently posted..Another Personal Rant Minus the Editing and Story Structure
OMG how rude! That’s so aweful but you handled yourself with so much class and grace. Wish I could invite you to come to Indonesia
Hugs!
Tatter Scoops recently posted..Those Burning Questions
How incredibly rude! You, of course, were a lesson in grace and class. Although as sweet and bubbly and good-natured as you are, it’s hard to believe someone would actually NOT want to include you in something. But then, there are mean girls among us. Mean girls in high school simply grow up to be mean girls in the PTA. Some people simply never grow.
Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..There’s No Shame in Blogging
Beyond just being plain rude, its mean and hurtful. I don’t understand how people don’t realize that when you exclude people publicly you always hurt someone’s feelings. That sucks that you had to go through that, I hate things like that. =/
Marta recently posted..You Probably Won’t Read This
Pretty much the same thing happened to me today, except high school version. I was so astonished that someone(who I know fairly well) could be so rude. Anyway, I’m glad you didn’t judge her at first for being a one worder (I’m sometimes like that, but only because I don’t know what to say), but what she did was completely wrong!