Mentors. Inspiration. Confessions. It has been a reflective week at Just.Be.Enough. which makes today’s guest post especially fitting as our guest is an incredibly sincere and reflective writer. Andrea Updyke is the Founder of Lil-Kid-Things and also writes for The Babycenter Blog. She spends her days caring for her two sons, Oscar and Calvin (who can’t seem to stop growing), and learning how to balance work, kids, and marriage while drinking way too much coffee.
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I chatted with my mom on the phone for the millionth time after I found out I was pregnant with my second child.
“I just feel like I am not enough. I can never get it all done. I can’t give my toddler what he needs. How on earth will I be able to care for two children?”
She sighed peacefully and replied, “You just described how I have felt for most of my adult life.”
So what is it? This magical “enough?” Is there such a thing? My guess is no. Enough is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, just out of reach. My journey to enough is ongoing and I don’t know that it will ever end. And I think that is ok. Some days I feel like I am on top of my game. Other days, I need my friends and family to support me and remind me that no one expects me to be perfect.
As you are reading this, I will be surrounded by the most amazing women in blogging. We’re talking thousands of bloggers, brands and a few famous faces in New York City for the Blogher Conference. And, like many others, I find myself wondering if I will be enough to stand tall among these fabulous women. I come back to the little pep talk I have learned to give myself over the years (don’t worry, I’m not going to get all Stuart Smalley on you).
When I find this self-doubt start to creep in, I force myself to remember that we all have these moments. That day on the phone, as I poured my heart out to my mother in doubt that I could manage a second child, she didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear. She related to me. She surprised me with her own vulnerability.
And that is what makes me enough. When I am honest with myself that I will never achieve the level of perfection that I desire, I no longer feel bound to it. It no longer stands in judgment of me. It no longer has power.
What makes me enough is letting go of the idea that enough means the same thing for every person. What makes me enough is being honest with my flaws and owning the fact that I am loved in my imperfection. No more striving.
Just being.
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That’s what so great about the concept of being ‘enough’. It’s not about being enough for the outside world, because that’s measuring a standard, and leads to comparisons.
It’s about being enough in and of ourselves. So it’s truly individual. Enough is however much you have to give, and, like you said, is different for us all.
Thanks for the reminder.
Amen to every word you wrote. Your post really spoke to me – you captured my feelings and goals beautifully. Thank you! And I love how your mom interacted and identified with you. I strive to do that with my girls and often fall short. Thanks to your post, I will keep striving and trusting my process is exactly right for me and my family. Well done! Enjoy BlogHer!
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