I have been single off and on for nine years. In that time, I have never been in the midst of a relationship when Valentine’s Day rolled around on the calendar.
In part, it’s potentially due to the rule that some men seem to have created, which declares that they must not have a girlfriend between Thanksgiving and February 15 so they can avoid all unnecessary gift giving.
I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with one of those men anyway.
In part, it’s also due to the fact that I’ve devoted those years primarily to raising my kids solo. I haven’t had the every-other-weekend scenario. I am lucky to have my boys 24/7/365 – and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
The downside to all those wonderful hours of parenting has been a serious lack of time to be a single woman.
So, my Facebook relationship status remains: single.
I have a great friend who, while she was single, HATED Valentine’s Day with a passion. I’d try to perk her up with a delivery of pansies or a funny card, but being single on the day upon which extravagant gifts and deliveries of balloons, fruit on a stick or singing Cupids in pink, red and white striped tights announce that “somebody loves me” just stinks.
Now, she’s married.
And I’m the single one.
Flowers don’t arrive with my name on them.
The balloon bouquet delivery continues right past my office door.
Honestly, I’m always relieved when the singing Cupid warbles elsewhere.
But the essence of the day pulls at my heart: I want to be loved.
And in my heart I know that I am loved.
By my mother.
My father.
My sister.
My friends.
But to be chosen as someone’s one and only?
Not lately.
That reality has the power to bring me down. To drag me into a swamp of depressive, ugly thoughts.
But last year, I began to have a change of heart about Valentine’s Day.
I can choose to love me.
With my faults. My failings. My insecurities. My doubts.
And my strengths.
With my gray hairs. My wrinkles.
My blue eyes. And my curves.
With my quirks and my qualms.
I am uniquely, irreplaceably, fabulously ME!
Surrounded by those who love me.
Growing as a person every day.
I am my own Valentine.
And that’s enough.
xo
Kimberly









This is awesome. That is all I have to say. Awesome.
Thank you! It’s been a good day

Kimberly Rues recently posted..Just Be Enough: Being my own Valentine
This is beautiful. Good for you.
Teresa @ Working Traveling Mom recently posted..Thrift Store Shopping
Thanks. Tonight was a celebration of family! It was just what I needed

Kimberly Rues recently posted..Just Be Enough: Being my own Valentine
This is gorgeously written, and completely true. Holidays are a tough time, especially when it pulls at something so private within you.
I appreciate your honesty, and your encouragement to love within. xoxo
Corinne recently posted..Scenic Sunday – The Buoy
Thank you! Today was a day full of children’s smiles, family dinner and now a quiet evening with a book. And at this point in my life, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Kimberly Rues recently posted..Just Be Enough: Being my own Valentine
Thank you so much for posting this! I am exactly as you describe your friend – as soon as I turn the calendar page to February I immediately start dreading V-Day. One of my girlfriends and I are planning on going out to dinner tonight and are buying each other little gifts, but it still doesn’t compare to being someone’s “one and only”. I recently started reading the book, “Madly in Love with ME” by Christina Arylo and it is along the same lines as what you wrote about. For some reason though, I wasn’t thinking that the whole self-love thing applied on Valentine’s Day. How ridiculous! It absolutely does – thank you for the reminder!
That book sounds fascinating! I’ll have to find a copy to explore. Thank you for sharing. And Happy Valentine’s Day!
Kimberly Rues recently posted..Just Be Enough: Being my own Valentine
Happy Valentines Day
Corey Feldman recently posted..Happy Valentines Day! Perfect day to buy my book!
Thank you — and the same to you.
Kimberly Rues recently posted..Just Be Enough: Being my own Valentine
Awesome. Happy Valentine’s Day, Kimberly.

Robin recently posted..Explore: Life in Pictures, Vol. 2
Thank you! It ended up being a fun one. We had a a lot of lasagna, so my older son invited a couple of his friends over for dinner. There’s nothing quite like a table full of teenagers to bring on the laughter!
Kimberly Rues recently posted..Just Be Enough: Being my own Valentine
Perfect post! Too many times we rely on other people to make us happy. It begins with us! Awesome!
Make Your Own Adventure!
Kate.
Thank you, Kate! Learning to make myself happy instead of relying on others has been a tough lesson. I think it’s one of those things that takes wisdom (i.e. AGE).
Kimberly recently posted..Circle of Moms: Top 25 Single Mom Blogs
I love this, and I love you! You’re an inspiration.
Kathy at kissing the frog recently posted..It’s about more than just showing up
xoxo — Love you too! I’m a better person because my network is made up of positive, strong, loving people like you

Kimberly recently posted..Circle of Moms: Top 25 Single Mom Blogs
This was beautiful. Learning to love ourselves can be so difficult, but so empowering.
Tara R. recently posted..Bay Bluff
I have never really been a fan of Valentine’s Day..it being so close to my birthday and all..but I think that choosing to love yourself is such an incredible thing. I am still working on it, even as I have to say “I LOVE YOU” sometimes it’s the place inside yourself that you have to give flowers to, that you have to cherish (even if someone else does too).
I loved this very much Kimberly, I love how you EMBRACE the good things and If it helps..I love ya. LOTS.
xo
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