I went to Bloggy Boot Camp in Philly this past weekend. It was exciting and fun, informative and completely worth every penny. I love when women can come together in a big room like that and you know changes are happening all around you – you can feel the inspiration and support.
For most of my life I had a really rough time trusting women. It wasn’t until I was in my late 20s that I met women who felt like female soul mates to me; there was no competition or jealousy, just a complete and heartwarming love for each other. They taught me how to be a friend, even when I thought I had been doing a pretty good job of it alone.
So when I walked into that ballroom of so many great women I smiled BIG but went small, keeping myself in check and trying to not throw myself at others. In a way that screams of insecurity I decided to just let the day unfold and try to leave with a few new friends.
Here’s what happened instead.
I met INCREDIBLE women. I met women who would become friends of my heart within minutes of hearing their laugh, locking eyes with them and seeing our common stuff there, and I would get the humbling experience of seeing myself through their eyes.
I met women who actually thought it was a thrill to meet me.
“I got to meet @KirstenPiccini, somebody pinch me.”
Yeah, I know.
I would hug them and thank MY lucky stars that this sweet, funny, irreverent and completely adorable girl liked me enough to introduce herself and then my stomach would spin when I read a tweet that said, “@KirstenPiccini is just as sweet and wonderful as she is online.”
Well, who else would I be? I thought.
It simply never enters my mind to try to be anything other than the girl I show you online.
I am lazy.
I do love Law & Order.
I do wear three-inch heels every day.
I am always going to feel infertile.
Cupcakes are AWESOME.
Yes, yes, I do talk too much.
I cry daily, about everything from Hallmark commercials to the plight of hunger in our world.
And yes! I do care about you. I do. I hurt when you hurt, I laugh when you laugh. I have guilt and love and support in bunches for you.
I know that people could say, “She can’t possibly be that nice. No one is that nice!”
I don’t know if I am. I admit to being snarky and using really filthy language offline. I love off-color jokes and will do just about anything to make you giggle, but am I nice all the time? Nope. I’m human. Yet I know that when I left on Saturday, mixed with the hugs and tears I was crying at the thought of leaving my new friends there was also an overwhelming feeling of gratitude that these women saw me that way, that they thought I was someone worth knowing.
It’s these women I am so lucky to know. It’s these women who showed me how to make a connection and make a friend. I honestly just hope they keep in touch and that they know that meeting them was the highlight of my weekend.
At this place in my life I find that being enough has become about letting go and allowing other people change your life for the better. Seeing myself through their eyes for just one day was enough to let me know that maybe the way I’m living my life is actually changing other people too.
Being the same ole me never felt so good.
Talk to me: Do you believe you are yourself onscreen and off? Would it ever occur you to be anything else? Have you met people who are one way online and another off screen?