Another week has gone by, bringing us to the day where we share the voices of those around the blogosphere who share our belief about the importance of Just.Be.Enough.
Today we learn the story of Paula of Simply Sandwich: Survival skills for Sandwich Generation moms. Paula is, as she describes, “the Chief-Juggling-Officer” for a multi-generational family. For the past ten years, she has been smack in the middle of the Sandwich Generation, attempting to balance the roles of being a wife, a mom to a teen and a tween and most recently a caregiver for her mother who lives in their guesthouse.
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Our eyes were riveted on the doctor as he examined the severed feeding tube. The fear of a tube replacement surgery for my mom consumed me. She had already endured so much; I did not want more discomfort for her. After three years of service, the little lifesaving tube gave up and we rushed into the doctor’s office for assistance.
“No problem,” the doctor said. “This can be changed out right here. In fact, the process is so simple; the home nurses can do this from the house next time.” Relief washed over me and I felt my shoulders release until I completely digested his last statement. “Wait just one second,” I thought. “I am the home nurse!” I excused myself from the examination room during the replacement procedure and struggled to keep the tears back. Standing in the hallway, I questioned whether I am doing ENOUGH to care for my mom.
On the drive home from the appointment, we were relieved and happy that the process was so simple. Our happiness turned out to be short-lived. A few days after the tube change, she was in more pain and on my nightly check, I found her bleeding uncontrollably from the tube site.
At this point, you should probably know that I am an outstanding hand holder but I am not a nurse on any level. When my kids are under the weather, I of course do everything I can to keep them comfortable. I am so thankful that my husband steps in to handle any major abrasions or stomach malfunctions.
Based on my limited medical ability, I could feel the waves of fear taking over me. My husband and I kicked our teamwork into high gear, contacted the paramedics, applied pressure at the site and tried to keep her calm. She is currently in the hospital and is no longer bleeding. I am thankful that her medical team is working hard to investigate the cause of this problem.
For the past three years, I have managed all of my mom’s care and I often feel like I am doing a disservice to her. I do exactly what the doctors instruct me to do but not a day goes by that I do not feel like I am dropping the medical ball. I may not be the best nurse in town, but I am committed to doing whatever it takes to keep her comfortable and healthy.
I am so thankful that she is patient with my amateur medical skills and I am grateful for the extra time I spend with her. As for the days, or minutes for that matter, that I feel inadequate in my care giving, I have to remind myself that I love her more than anyone does. Love alone is ENOUGH!
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What a powerful reminder of the importance of family and love. Please show Paula some JBE love this week!
Join us on Monday for a new week of Be Enough Me. The prompt for next week is: What Fuels You?
About Elena
Oh Paula, I am so sorry. You have done so much for your mom, and I would feel the sane way. Hugs to you…
Sherri recently posted..Sharing Memories with Solei
Thanks so very much Sherri. You can appreciate that the part I didn’t mention is that this all happened on our very first “Parent Weekend” for my daughter’s college. Lots of tears to say the least!
Paula@Simply Sandwich recently posted..Guest Post at Just.Be.Enough!
Just… hugs…. Your love is enough. As is hers.
LatteJunkie recently posted..Five Friday Favourites at Five
Thank you so much for your kind words! They really do help!
Paula@Simply Sandwich recently posted..Guest Post at Just.Be.Enough!
I give you so much credit. You are lucky to have each other; your love for her is so clear, as is your determination to do everything you can for her.
Thanks Angela. She is a real strong gal and inspires me to continue on!
Paula@Simply Sandwich recently posted..Guest Post at Just.Be.Enough!
Awwww! I wish I was your neighbor so I could run over and help you!
I’m a geriatric/dementia nurse and have the softest spot ever for old ladies.
tulpen recently posted..St. Jameson; Patron Saint Of Ann Maries Everywhere.
Oh my goodness! I wish you were my neighbor too! I need you right about now!
Paula@Simply Sandwich recently posted..Guest Post at Just.Be.Enough!
your love is enough, and you are a wonderful caregiver. Thank you for sharing your story.
Frelle recently posted..Planning Ink
Thanks so very much!
Paula@Simply Sandwich recently posted..Guest Post at Just.Be.Enough!
What a dedicated daughter.
Your love for your mother pours through your words.
I thinking of you and your family.
Leighann recently posted..When You Turn 31…
Thank you so much for thinking of us! It helps more than I can say!
Paula@Simply Sandwich recently posted..Guest Post at Just.Be.Enough!
Such a tough role to be in. Sounds like you’re doing a wonderful job, and how lucky your mom is to have your care and advocacy.
Robin | Farewell, Stranger recently posted..On the Move: Hanging Out with Punky Brewster
Honestly Robin, I think I am the lucky one. She is a real trooper!
Paula@Simply Sandwich recently posted..Guest Post at Just.Be.Enough!
I’m sure your mother appreciates everything you’re doing to help her.
You are doing something amazing and you should be proud.
Kim recently posted..Marathon Mama
Thank you Kim. I know she does appreciate it – her sparkly eyes let me know!
Paula@Simply Sandwich recently posted..Guest Post at Just.Be.Enough!
This post brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing and yes your love is more than enough and I’m sure your mom feels your love with every single touch, every single thing you do for her.
Maureen | Tatter Scoops recently posted..Blog Envy
This is so difficult. We are never ready to take care of our parents. We do our best and still never feel like enough. You are so very far ahead of me though… it was not until many years after my mothers passing that I learned about time and its importance. I was so wrapped up in the fight and managing her treatment (and her for that matter) that I could not recognize the time I had left. Now I view life much differently. My father lives with us and although he is healthy I do not mistake that this time is very important. Your mother is so very lucky to have you. Love does make the right decisions. You love her and she knows that. This time is important… we just do the very best we can and embrace the good. -Laverne
KindredAdventures recently posted..Get Carded: 7 Card Challenge (Part 1)
Paula, I am so sorry to hear about your mom’s recent problems (though I am reading this a couple weeks after you posted it). I am praying that by now things are more under control. You have been such a wonderful caregiver to your mom. I can not imagine the things that you have done and what you have sacrificed out of love for your mother. I am sure that she appreciates all that you and your husband have done and even if she can not articulate to you her thanks —it is there. What a blessing you are. And you are doing the very best you can do so I hope you don’t beat yourself up too much for not being a “nurse’. You love her and are doing all you can for her and that is all that matters. Really. It is. Bless you!