Early this year, when we had lived here only two or three months, I was out walking with my sister-in-law. She had moved here a couple of years earlier and was still finding it hard to make friends.
As we came to the end of the path and ventured back out into the residential street beyond, my sister-in-law talked about trying to meet people here, to find her tribe. I listened as she talked but the thought in my head was different.
“I don’t want that.”
Maybe it was because I was still adjusting to a long-distance move and a new job that had already brought lots of new people into my day-to-day. Maybe it’s because at heart I’m an introvert and it’s not in my nature to seek out people to surround myself with. Or maybe I was missing my friends from home.
I feel blessed to have lots of people I call friends. In my hometown I had many who, as defined by frequency and type of interaction, were really just acquaintances. But I knew I could call on them if needed, as they could me.
I had — have — Facebook (and Twitter) friends who might mostly be inside my computer, but who come out in droves to celebrate or commiserate with me, and they make me feel like I’m never alone.
And I have my tribe – a group of moms I met when my son was born and who got me through his first year, and who have become nothing less than family. A year after we moved, I’m still mourning the relationship I had with them while being grateful for the way it has evolved and continues to bless me.
So, with all that appreciation for what friends bring to my life, why am I not seeking out new ones in my new city?
I’m not really sure.
I have friends here – some new, some I’ve known for a long time. And I have family. I’m once again living in the same city as one of my sisters, which hasn’t been the case in more than a decade. It’s her I often reach out to first.
I’m sure over time I will make more friends. Some might even become a core part of my tribe. But for now I’m not feeling as though a lack of new friends is leaving a hole in my life.
As for my sister-in-law, she had twins a couple of months ago. With the changes that has brought to her day-to-day and the other twin moms she has befriended, her life is pretty full.
Maybe things just evolve as they’re meant to.