I’m starting to suspect that I might perhaps be bored. Maybe. It’s one of the possibilities, anyway.
I’m either bored or on the cusp of something, and I’m not sure how to tell the difference.
By all rights, I should be happy just doing what I’m doing for now. I have a four-month-old baby and am on mat leave until the fall. I’m going back to a job that I’ve only been in for a year (not even) and that will certainly present enough challenges when I get back to it, so it would seem like this is the perfect time to just do the family thing so this very precious year doesn’t pass me by. And I think that’s where the dilemma lies.
I’m enjoying this time so very much – much more than my first maternity leave. This time around I have two boys at home and a husband too; it is such a beautiful thing it basically takes up all the space on the list when I count my blessings. I’m getting to have the baby experience I wanted the first time while being grateful for the four-year gap so I can truly appreciate the fascinating person my older son is becoming.
But I’m still looking at things and thinking That would be interesting or I’d love to get published there or even just Fun! Because underneath all those thoughts is What if?
What if this “time off” is my only (or best) chance to pursue something?
What if that opportunity that flashes before me in a tweet I just happen to catch is the one I’m supposed to follow up on?
What if I’m approaching a fork in the road of my life and one direction is same-same while the other presents different?
I get bored easily. I’m not a big fan of same-same.
I think the biggest question, though, is Can I do it? And close on its heels is, Do I want to?
These are not easy questions to answer.
As you may have seen, each member of the JBE team has chosen three words to focus on this year. One of mine is Stretch. I want to stretch myself, to challenge myself, to see where I might end up if I follow the paths in front of me.
Another one of my words is Presence. As in be present, a choice largely inspired by this gift of a year I’ve been given.
You can see the conundrum.
So for now I’m taking solace in the words of another dream-chaser. I will search, I will seek, I will act. And I will trust that the right things will trigger my tenacity.
xo
Robin
only boring people get Bored—i think the thing that needs changing is your attitude –some gals would kill for your luxury problems –in the words of your blog why not Just Be Enough
Oh, I never said they were problems. I have problems – some are of the world’s worst type (few, thankfully) and some are definitely of the first-world variety. These, however, are simply…dilemmas? Things to think about? Opportunities? Yes, opportunities. An opportunity to think about what’s important to me most of all. And my attitude around that is just where I want it to be – inquiring, aware, grateful.
Robin recently posted..Living in the Light
It’s tough to be in that position where you want to stretch but aren’t exactly sure in which direction you should be concentrating your efforts. I don’t think it makes you ungrateful for your family time at all; it just means you’re in a place mentally where you are feeling fairly balanced in other areas of your life and want to be challenged a little.
angela recently posted..The Book Thief – A Review
That’s it! Wow, light bulb. I am feeling fairly balanced. You’re totally right. Thanks Angela.
Robin recently posted..Living in the Light
I feel the same way as you. My daughter is give months old and I just started joining some Mom groups because I just can’t take being stuck in the house anymore. Getting bored easily doesn’t mean you’re boring, it means you like to be challenged and don’t likes things to be so repetitive. Maybe you need to take up a new hobby or activity? Or yes, try to start a job that you’ve always wanted to do. Go for it!
Thanks Laura! And yes, I like to be challenged. That’s exactly it. And I’m glad I’m someone who takes the opportunities presented to me.
Robin recently posted..Living in the Light
I understand how you feel. I have never been happier with my life but so confused about my personal path. I love the idea of stretching and challenging myself. Thank you for sharing that!
I think looking for a challenge is a great way to figure out what lights you up. And such a great moment when you think, Wow!
Robin recently posted..Living in the Light
I feel like this a lot, but not bored, just STUCK. I want to do more, but don’t think I’m capable of it (and even if I am, do I have the tenacity to follow through?)
I think that you just asking the question of yourself and your space is what makes you awesome and the feelings valid, if you know you might be in a place to consider things, you will by all accounts, consider them with an open heart.
xox
Kir recently posted..Don’t You Know You’re Beautiful? {Master Class & Trifecta}
Oh honey, you are capable! The follow through is tough, though. I think of this like quitting something bad for you or exercising – when we’re truly ready we will do it. The tenacity will come. Until then it’s perfectly okay to explore. xx
Robin recently posted..Living in the Light
Robin, I felt like that last year. After changing jobs and helping produce LTYM, the opportunities just landed in my lap. I recognize that feeling of just being on the cusp of something. I could almost taste it. It is hard to figure out what “it” was. I realized that “it” was whatever spoke to my soul and made say Yes!
Jenny recently posted..My secret life
Exactly. I usually know it when I see it. Some of my struggle right now is wondering about the opportunities that might just be stepping stones – is it worth pursuing, do I want to do it, etc.
That said, I love where you are now.
Robin recently posted..Living in the Light
I think that the more you focus on being present, the more obvious the path onto which you’re meant to stretch will become. I can’t count on two hands the number of times I’ve set myself to the attitude of “let it flow” and suddenly, whammo, what I am supposed to do is right there in front of me.
Don’t overthink it. Enjoy your time, and listen to your gut.
Fab advice. You’re totally right, Gigi. I need to keep working on being present and I do have faith it will come.
Robin recently posted..Living in the Light
I do the same thing — in fear that I will miss an opportunity. I keep having to remind myself that things will be different in the next year, when my big girls go to kinder and the youngest goes to preschool and I have alone time to breathe. But then I think about the people who don’t let the fact that they have little ones stop their ventures. If you feel the call, go for it. You’ll likely more regret NOT going for something than you will getting the opportunity and stretching yourself. xo
Leigh Ann recently posted..Fluid and noise and vomiting words
Yeah, and part of it for me is that I don’t want it to be “I will when…” Especially because my littlest is really little. I need to have that thing for myself outside of being a mom. But you’re right about the regret. That’s the best advice my mom ever gave me.
xx
Robin recently posted..Living in the Light
If the tweet that is to change the world is going to land in your lap it will. If you live in the moment, focus on the positive, and carpé diem
maybe a clear path will appear. It often is not clear. (Now to do that myself!) (And JBE is not boring, your blog is not boring and you are certainly not boring. It is sad that people disparage and react judgmentally. There must be more to that commenter’s story than bitter remarks so perhaps we should be feeling compassion. Plato said to be kind because everyone has a difficult path. Sometimes that too is hard.)
I’ve had so many clear paths in the last few years so it’s weird to feel like this one isn’t clear. But maybe it is and I’m trying to make it into something else. Still, helpful to ponder it.
Robin recently posted..Living in the Light
I know this feeling so well!
So going with my one word, Do, I did just that. I thought about these things I think about all the time, and asked myself, what harm is there in trying? In just putting myself out there and see what happens? Maybe nothing, but at least I can say I tried.
You’ll get there, slowly but surely.
Alison recently posted..The Things They Do
Yes, and I’m actually not at all afraid to Do. It’s more about making a decision about what to pursue, and partly the struggle about whether I should be pursuing anything at all right now. I have no problem putting myself out there, thankfully.
Robin recently posted..Living in the Light
I know exactly what you mean! I am torn between being a present and active mother and all of the things I want to pursue. I just keep reminding myself that they will still be there later but my kuds will only be little once!
Alexa recently posted..TTTS Tuesday – Cameron and Cole’s Story
Totally. And I am really enjoying the time with the little ones, so I don’t feel like I’m taking it for granted. It’s mostly the in-the-moment stuff.
Robin recently posted..Living in the Light
The opportunities that flash before us (in many forms) will spark your mind and you’ll know it’s for you.
My thinking these days is to grab all the opportunities that I can and make any final decisions when the absolute time comes. Like my decision to seek an internship… all I can do at the moment is to get my applications together, send them out and see what comes. If an opportunity comes from that I will have time to ponder the decision and make the one that is right for me.
You’ll know the same for you when it happens and when it appears in front of you.
That’s a good point. None of these things are things I can’t decline, either now or later. You are very wise.
Robin recently posted..Living in the Light
Sounds to me like you’re are firmly grounded in your family and appreciating every moment of it…stretching FROM that place may feel safe and solid. It might be just the time to reach for something full of “what if’s”…you have a solid place from which to reach.
Kimberly recently posted..Intentional Breaths Ahead
Oh, you’re good. I think that’s true – I’m grounded in a few ways (and so grateful for it) and so it does give me an opportunity to stretch.
Robin recently posted..Living in the Light
Oh, yes. I can relate, and what I’ve discovered about myself is a tendency toward all-or-nothing thinking when it comes to “what if?” and “what next?” That, I realized, is what was keeping me stuck. Once I decided to be okay with small steps, the overwhelm about all the possibilities subsided and I had more freedom to choose. I couldn’t do it all, but I could decide that any choice I make is the “right” one to keep me growing and moving forward…and, invariably, that has opened the way to the next right step.
Enjoy this time, and all the possibilities it holds for you!
Alizabeth Rasmussen recently posted..After the Ecstasy, the Laundry
Thanks Alizabeth! That made me realize that I think what I’m focusing on is that I have to do it RIGHT NOW (or while I’m off work). But I don’t. Thank you.
Robin recently posted..Living in the Light
You, my friend, are definitely not boring. I can’t even keep up with you!
I completely understand where you’re coming from. There is so much we do in a day, yet sometimes it may be routine, or it may be our energy levels. If there is something that might liven up the situation, do it.
Love you muchly.
Corinne recently posted..It’s been quiet, huh?
Thank you, my friend. Love you muchly too!
Robin recently posted..Living in the Light
Oh lady don’t I know it! We may share a brain. What I have found is if I just focus on what I’m doing in each moment, it’s easier to stop the what ifs. So, be with your kids or take time and check into those twitter opportunities or pursue that writing place. But know that wherever you put your focus it’s just the right place for that moment. It can be tough, but it’s also very rewarding. One of my favorite things I’ve ever heard someone say is, “it’s actually not short, life is really pretty long.” If you just shift that little focus-and know that there is time in your journey for all that you want, then you might just find yourself not wishing moments away. Now if I can just practice what I preach-we’ll be all set!
Cristie recently posted..The Wonder of Stories
I love that! There’s lots of time, it’s true. I shall work on being present.
Robin recently posted..Living in the Light
[...] Speaking of inspiration, my latest post on Just.Be.Enough is about a nagging feeling of boredom and the desire to explore more opportunities. Come read! [...]
I love the way you describe that push and pull – and know it well. Great post, girl.
Galit Breen recently posted..Could you unplug {completely}?
Thanks, love!
Robin recently posted..Brainstorm: A Focus for March
Taking a big leap is hard! It’s standing there at the precipice, heart beating wildly, trying to decide to jump or step back and try another time. Only you know the answer.
xo
Kristin Shaw (Two Cannoli) recently posted..Seven things I loved about Dubai
Totally true. I just have to trust that I will know it when it’s in front of me.
Robin recently posted..Brainstorm: A Focus for March