You know those days when you’re reading blog posts from other writers you respect and you come across THE post? THE post that makes you nod your head up and down in agreement? Our guest poster, Julie C. Gardner, is one of those writers whose audience often is seen nodding their head in agreement and understanding. We are thrilled to have her sharing her voice today with a story about all things LARGE.
My friends, there is much about me that’s large. My mouth, my hopes and dreams, my appetites.
However, one aspect of me that is not large (by most standards of measurement) is my body. Yet this truth is belied by the tag inside the participant shirt I received when I ran the 2010 L.A. marathon. I recently grabbed this souvenir from the bottom of my work-out drawer, and as I slipped it on I slipped back to the March afternoon I stood outside Dodger Stadium waiting to sign in at the race expo.
Having received my racer’s bib and promo-bag, I’d headed to the shirt-distribution tables. During online registration I’d requested a medium, but the real-life volunteer glanced at me and said, “Oh honey. You’re a large.”
I held up the slip of white polyester and it indeed appeared to be the correct size.
I grabbed safety pins to affix the bib to my shirt and offered my thanks to the volunteers. Then, because the forecasters were predicting heat, I bought a tank top “just in case.”
I picked size L, of course, as I’d been told.
Perhaps people assume measurements are skewed in the world of running – that anyone who trains to complete 26.2 miles must be ultra-skinny. But if you’ve ever been near a race, you know runners of all shapes and sizes participate. In fact, many entrants are there because they’re working on weight control, getting fit, making a change.
And there I was holding my large shirt when, in reality, I’m fairly small. I knew there’d be a decent number of women at the expo that day who were bigger than I was lining up to receive their hard-earned shirts. What would they be told when the volunteers glanced at them?
Unfortunately, such size discrepancy isn’t exclusive to race-wear; these days, it heads in both directions.
In my closet I have jeans that fit equally well but come in sizes spanning eight numbers. Why? Because some manufacturers have begun assigning tinier numbers to bigger measurements in order to “flatter” their customers.
Of course variations exist between brands, but I’ve got three pairs in three sizes from the same designer, purchased during different years. This inconsistency serves to simultaneously both lower and raise expectations of thinness.
It’s unproductive (physically and emotionally) for a woman working toward a healthy weight to be misled into thinking she’s prematurely reached her goal, and it’s unrealistic (physically and emotionally) for a size-6 woman to be aiming for a 2 because brands have started cutting their clothes larger.
To embrace such “vanity sizing” designers have even had to add sizes 0 and 00 to the mix; ‘tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.
But herein lies the disconnect: We are a nation of body-loathers who, instead of getting thinner, are growing steadily more overweight. Our real-size spectrum contains dangers at both ends: eating disorders on one, obesity-related complications on the other.
We’ve made victory in this battle increasingly difficult, and if I’ve become the barometer for large, who can blame overweight women and men for feeling perpetually defeated? Conversely, in a world of inflated/deflated double-zeros, the already-thin may continue to seek ever-smaller sizes.
So in lieu of inaccurate numbers or vague S, M, L, XL designations, I’d like to see more descriptive sizes for shoppers who require inspiration with their fitness and their fit – big blank tags that we can fill in for ourselves.
Picture a new mom wearing a size Hooray! I can see my toes again!
During the holidays we’d choose It’s Thanksgiving. Waistbands can suck it.
And then switch to New Year, New Body. Go!
Maybe one of these sizes would apply to you: Thanks for the good metabolism, Mom. Or Thanks! I work my ass off at the gym for this body.
How about this size as a goal: My partner thinks I’m sexy and I’m trying to believe.
Now it’s your turn. If you could, what description would you write onto the blank tags of your clothes? If they were being honest, my pants would admit this:
I often eat healthfully. Sometimes I eat cake.
I know. It is a mouthful.
Of the most delicious kind.
—
Julie C. Gardner is a lapsed English teacher, an aspiring author and an accomplished lover of tortilla chips. You can follow @juliecgardner on Twitter or at her blog, By Any Other Name, where she writes about family, shares her writing journey and strives to make light of life on a weekly basis.

















I do think it is crazy how there is no real standard for clothes, even for men, there can be variation. I think you are right, making things area smaller in number only to draw sales is horrible and doesn’t help two very real issues in this country. Our obsession with body imagine and the reality many American don’t live a healthy lifestyle and are overweight.
Corey Feldman recently posted..Follow Friday #2 Neighbors of Easton
It is ironic that we’re so body-focused in this country and yet our percentages of people at unhealthy weights (in all age-ranges) are among the highest, right?
Sadly, I don’t have a good solution. But clearly a change is necessary…soon.
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me enough
I agree with you on that julie. It seems some people have neglected the basics that are aimed at sustaining good health and that is the reason why cases of obesity are on the rise. It seems their should be more classes on nutrition and exercise to health such people.
Keller Morelle recently posted..Shin Ohtake Max Workouts eBook
I’ve mentioned it before, but I think vanity sizing in this way is silly. I remember reading about it and thinking, “She’s not a large,” and also, “What do they do for people twice her size?”
Vanity sizing is out of control, and I think there’s a large marketing component to it, so people are more apt to buy clothes from the stores where they wear smaller sizes. I’ve heard people say, “But I ALWAYS wear a size XYZ! I’m not wearing a QRS!” when in reality, our bodies don’t change because of the label on the clothes.
angela recently posted..Crushed
Exactly right, Angela.
It does all come down to money, sadly; at both ends of the spectrum.
Advertisers use ultra-thin women to sell fantasies which perpetuates our drive to buy products we don’t need to reinforce our goal of unrealistic perfection. Then, they cut sizes larger and assign smaller numbers to feed our belief that we’re achieving our goals.
In the meantime, we are overly fixated on numbers that ultimately don’t correlate to physical fitness at all.
I know that the pursuit of profit is reality; but health (mental and physical) should trump the dollar.
In my opinion.
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me enough
I remember reading about your large shirt. And I just still don’t understand why women’s clothes don’t come with measurements like men’s.
I agree, Julie. I have some jeans that use a waist measurement instead of 2,4,6,8, etc. but that’s the minority.
We’d be so much better off with a simple number for waist and inseam. It’s not that difficult, right? But the designers and brand and stores aren’t stupid; they feed off women’s insecurities to make more money. It’s a business. I get it.
And men (I suspect) are not as susceptible to the marketing of vague sizes…
Maybe?
Not that we need Gender Wars, right? HA!
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me enough
I’m so glad to be here and part of this discussion today. There are few issues that affect women (and men) to such an extreme degree than their body image; with sometimes dangerous results.
It saddens me that so much of sizing comes down to money; what number will keep eople buying – more, new, again. But in the tenor of society today (actually, obsession with weight and achieving the ideal shape isn’t exactly new, right?) we need to be more responsible.
I worry so much about my own kids’ confidence, health, attitudes about themselves; not to mention my own. For many people, weight and size are issues with which they battle daily.
My hope for us all is to reach some level of acceptance and peace – and ultimately, health.
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me enough
SO wonderful to see you here today, and this post fits just perfectly! I’m still rockin’ my, “I had three babies in two years” jeans. That’s okay, right?”

Stephanie recently posted..Learning Patience for the Sake of My Kids (Since I’m too Impatient to Learn it for Myself)
I have another t-shirt for you, Stephanie: YOU ARE MY HERO!
For real.
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me enough
I gave up on sizes long ago. I just wear what fits. My size is always “just right”.
Love you, Julie. xo
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Neither Here Nor There
So. Have you had the baby yet?
Just kidding. (Also, if I had chocolate, I would totally give it to you.)
XOXO
p.s. Any minute now…
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me enough
I agree with the other Julie above – I wish they came sized in measurements like men’s. They I wouldn’t have to take the small, the medium AND the large to the dressing room with me to find one that fits. I, too, have jeans in three different sizes – and they all fit just fine. I have two brands that I have pairs in two different sizes from. Then there’s one brand where I can wear and itty bitty tiny size that I wouldn’t be able to wear in any other brand.
My favorites: I work my ass off for this body. And I often eat healthfully. Sometimes I eat cake. – I couldn’t say it better.
Ally,
There truly is no better word than cake. And I like a LOT of words

julie gardner recently posted..Today call me enough
Be strong. Be happy. That’s what I’d write, and that’s the message we try to pass on to the kids. So yes it’s great to eat things that make us happy sometimes — ah, splurge, ah, bread pudding — as long as we balance it with exercise and things that help fuel our bodies.
And my kids eat crap b/c they’re kids.
But the older they get (the youngest is 15, the oldest is 28), the better they eat. We hear them unconsciously repeating our mantras. And we smile.
Pamela recently posted..Cliff Diving, Falling in Love, and Other Extreme Sports
Pamela,
Oh my goodness now I have bread pudding on my brain. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing…after all, it is Friday.
Anyway, I know your kids are growing up watching their parents be fit and active and balanced.
There is no greater gift to give them.
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me enough
Julie, my wonderful friend, I needed this post today. I am going to a “jeans” party tonight. You know just like tupperware, jewelry and adult toys, but for jeans. I have been stressing about it all week because it’s that time of the month and my weight really fluctuates. I have been working out hard and dieting trying to get to my “normal” weight, whatever that is… I woke up this morning thinking what size am I? What will I be next week? How will I feel if spend an obscene amount of money on jeans that don’t fit correctly next week or next month? So I am going to stop thinking about it now. I am going to go tonight and if I like the jeans, I’ll buy a pair and rip out the tag. And they don’t fit next week or next month, I’ll wait for the fit to come around again.
Elena: I have not frequented your blog (although I was already following you on Twitter) and you had me at Just Be Enough! I am reading Brene Brown’s (http://www.brenebrown.com/) book right now on vulnerability and being compassionnate to ourselves and others. You and Brene should be best friends! I am looking forward to reading your blog more!
Paige,
I’m going out tonight to celebrate the birthday of a dear friend and ALL the women there will be dressed perfectly, fashionably, state-of-the-art. Meanwhile, I haven’t shopped in four years (no joke) and subsist mainly on hand-me-downs from my sister.
So. I plan to drink wine and wear a smile. Hopefully the rest will take care of itself.
p.s. I will wear more than a smile. And I’ll be thinking about you. Enjoy your night. And don’t sweat the tag. !!!
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me enough
My label would say…who cares?! As long as we feel good, the numbers shouldn’t matter!
Di,
Since my jeans are all from you, I’ll just say THANK YOU!
Indeed it pays to have friends who outgrow their clothes…
Good luck to everyone at St. George! GO IRONMEN!
XOXO
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me enough
You are so right! I love Banana Republic because I can buy things there in a size smaller than I usually do. I know it’s a lie, but I like it. That’s awful, though, isn’t it?
Kelley recently posted..Does this VHS tape belong to you??
Kelley,
I think there’s nothing wrong with a little psychological boost…As long as we’re not basing all our happiness on it – ha!
That job goes to the cake, right?
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me enough
My label would say “leave room for dessert!”. But that’s only because my sweet tooth has a louder voice than my inner-critic!
Nance-
I’m going out with Sue and friends for her birthday tonight and you’d best BELIEVE there will be room for dessert saved.
In my old age, my sweet-tooth (which used to not exist) is making a distinct comeback.
I shall toast you with champagne and something chocolate.
Guilt free for you, no?
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me enough
I loved this the first time I read it and this time too. I wish we could just put those LABELS away and be who we are…instead of measuring ourselves against the yardstick of others…clothes, talent, partners, career path….
I am trying to live in my body and love it for what it is today, and what I hope it can be tomorrow.
I love your words Julie, they help, they heal xo
Kir recently posted..This Blog is Becoming Like My Single Apartment
Kir,
That might be the nicest thing anyone has said about my words. And I’d love nothing more than to truly be helpful, healing, inspiring.
So let’s forget the yardsticks and measure ourselves the amount of love and light we create. Now THOSE are some numbers I can get behind.
And p.s. You are already beautiful in every way – the ones that matter and the ones that don’t (as much).
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me enough
I love this post. Just simply love it.
I struggle with the stupid size on the tag. I so badly want to not care.
But I still do. care.
Katie recently posted..m is apparently for “myself”
I love the new tags you’ve created. I would so love to have those on my clothes instead. As a mom of 3 who’s trying to get back into shape, I hate shopping (especially for pants) because I don’t want to know what size I am at the moment. And those shirts? Forget about it!
Blank tags would definitely be welcomed around here!
Janice recently posted..April Showers Bring May Flowers
I would so love to have those on my clothes instead. As a mom of 3 who’s trying to get back into shape,I love this post. Just simply love it.
tinafreysd recently posted..Choosing the Right Acne Scar Removal Cream
I love Julie.
In the blogosphere where you really never really “know” people, I get the feeling I know her.
And she’s good people.
Alexandra recently posted..A Legend In Your Kids’ Minds
Love this post.
Love you!
Suniverse recently posted..Celebrity Bio – A Book Review
Oh, vanity sizing! I used to wear a 00 (before I had kids) and I remember feeling like I was starting to disappear. I mean, seriously, a double zero? Can anybody even see me? Maybe we could call that one, “Jumping up and down, waving arms: I’m here! I’m here!”
Thanks for the laugh!
Emily recently posted..Before Deployment
So great to see you here Julie, and I absolutely love this post!
Oh, honey, you’re an XL AWESOME, is what you are.
How about “Full-Fat Cheese Is Getting Rid Of My Belly Pouch.”
Also “Metabolism Is Not My Friend.”
And PS – I can’t believe you run marathons.
I love when you lay it all there Julie – with words that we need to hear, about topics that need to be discussed!
(I’m also impressed at how gracefully you tackled this specific topic that can be so very tricky to “go there” on. What if we could all just be direct and forthcoming, like you? The conversation would sound different, and the learning would be more productive, yes?)
One more time; Love this, & thank you!
Galit Breen recently posted..About Noticing
Still love this.
And you.
J
Jamie recently posted..weekend wisdom 41
[...] In my inbox was a post from one of my favorite bloggers, Julie Gardner. The post was entitled, ‘Today Call me Enough’, as she was guest posting on the blog, “Just Be Enough“. Hello?! Before you even [...]
It sucks when clothing manufacturers mess up their sizing, messed with your head full time. One brand of jean, the only ones which have consistently fit me, go from (in the same size and cut naturally) too big and fall off, loose, not to bad and now the latest cut: not a hope. How does that work I ask myself?! Other days I just convince myself that I’ve got fat.
As for a new label how about ‘hey, at least I had the energy to get dressed today’?! (It’s been a poorly month again).
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