I know the working mom dance.
Meetings and clients and deadlines and emails mixing with drop-offs and pick-ups and packed lunches and play dates in a complicated routine that is fun yet dizzying. Fulfilling yet overwhelming.
Over the past three years, I’ve worked hard to improve my dancing. I’ve stretched and practiced. I’ve given nearly daily performances. I’ve gotten mixed reviews here and there, but mostly? They were positive. And even on the bad days, I usually managed to stay on my feet.
And through it all, I’ve learned.
I’ve learned that packing lunches and picking outfits the night before makes for smoother mornings. I’ve learned which words ensure the smoothest exit from a meeting that has overrun its time, because there is always someone else (my children, my boss, another client) waiting. I’ve learned what chores to do with my daughter (cooking! and, surprisingly, folding laundry!) and what to leave for after bedtime (anything that involves a computer).
I’ve learned that work-life balance does not mean what it implies – that you can find a way to put work on one side and life on the other to force the scale’s two plates to rest on the same plane. It does not work that way. Balance does not mean equal. Balance means competing priorities, needs, and lives weaving around each other in an intricate dance. And yes, sometimes the dancers bump into one another. But they always get back up when they fall.
In October, I stepped off the dance floor. I took leave and welcomed a new little boy into our lives. Into our dance.
The break has been magical. Refreshing. It turns out that balance is easier to achieve when you place fewer things on the scale.
But it is coming to an end. In two weeks, I’ll be back on the floor. Stretching muscles that have grown soft with three months of rest. Trying moves that I’ll manage to perform due to muscle memory, but that will look awkward and clumsy. Learning new moves and new routines because now I’ve stepped up to the next level. The one-child dance is, I am sure, vastly different from the two-child dance.
And I’m scared. I’m terrified. Standing here, on this side of the return, I feel anxious. Nervous to get back on the floor. What if I fall?
So, as I prepare for the tough road ahead, I come here. To remind myself that yes, I will fall. But I will get back up. And I’ll try again. I’ll strengthen the muscles that have grown soft and the new ones that have yet to be called upon and I’ll master, yet again, the art of this working-mom dance.
I do the same dance every day – mine is with one child, though. Good luck going back to work and learning new steps in your dance. You can absolutely do it!
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Thank you!
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Good luck
Like you said, you will remember and learn new steps and teeter back and forth on the pesky balance scale, but in the end you’ll be dancing. And dancing is always a good thing 
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Thank you! Yes, dancing is always good
Tricia recently posted..Christmas #2
First of all, not only are you a good dancer, your writing is amazing! I loved reading this post! Secondly, it is much harder with two kids, but only until you get the hang of it. I still worked full time until my 2nd child was about 15 months old. I took the full 12 weeks maternity leave, and am so glad I did. I was actually ready to get back to work, but it was easy because I had the most wonderful childcare provider. But mornings were crazy! Getting two little ones up, fed, clothed, packed up, in the car and dropped off to two places (all on my own because my husband left for work an hour earlier than I did) was a three ring circus every day. Give yourself an extra 30 minutes at least until you get your routine down! There were days I’m sure I forgot to feed a child, I let the sitter dress them, or I had to change a poopy diaper right after getting everyone and everything in the car, but after a few weeks we had a solid routine in place! Nights will be hectic as well, but the best advice I can give you is to enjoy the moment, because it’s gone so quickly. And you’re going to be great at it!
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Thank you!! With my first, I went back at 9 weeks. This time I’m taking the full 12 and I’m so happy about that. I feel like I know better now how precious this time is. I’ll be on my own too for drop off so the extra time tip is gonna be key!
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That’s a dance I know well (though not at the moment!). I wish you all the luck as you start flying across that dance floor again.
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Oh that complicated dance! The good news, in my humble opinion, is that learning the two-kid dance is just a step up from the one-kid dance, not a whole lifestyle change like going from the zero-kid dance to the one-kid.
You’ve got this!
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Beautiful post! I have my own dance as a stay-at-home mom, too. Routine gets interrupted when school is out and the dance must change for the weekend. Sometimes its a successful choreography, sometimes it falls flat on its face, but, like you said, you get up and start dancing again. Always. You got this.
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What if you fall? You get right back up, smile, and get back at it.
I don’t have children of my own, but I do know all about rushing and routines and feeling like there are too many things to get done.
You are going to be great. Actually, you already are.
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